The second trimester is billed as the best time of pregnancy for most women; the middle bit where pregnancy isn't brand-new to your body but also you aren't at the crazy heavy bit at the end. It's also a great time for those like me, who are first time mums, to really settle into pregnancy and start learning all these new things, from mat pay and kit days to breastfeeding and birth, without the pressure of it being immediately around the corner.
Personally, this was also the trimester where I felt a clear shift between “I'm pregnant” and “we’re having a baby”; that this isn't a ‘me’ thing, but something much bigger.
Read my first trimester blog here.
Symptoms and side effects
I have had a relatively good pregnancy thus far. Don't get me wrong, this is the hardest thing my body has ever done, and I feel its difficulty, but with the right support and adjustments, I have managed it better than I thought I would. And in fact, despite some of the negative side effects that I'll go into below, I have had many positive effects too, related to my mental health, my skin, and my approach to setting boundaries.
For me, the second trimester meant waving goodbye to some side effects, like cramps and most nausea (though the latter still loved to pay me a flying visit now and again). It did however mean welcoming new ones: heartburn (uncomfortable but v manageable), rib and back pain (as baby got bigger from week 25/26) and crippling, nearly daily headaches for around 10 weeks. As someone who works on a laptop all day, this last one was really a tough one to navigate. I tried everything from cold flannels to blood tests to check my iron levels, and then one day, around week 22, they simply stopped. Thank goodness.
My constant companion through first and a lot of the second trimester was exhaustion; it was debilitating. For all those fancy press meals or social activities I put on my IG stories during this time, I wasn't showing the next day or two when I was completely bedbound. The only reason I was able to manage was because of the brilliant support of my fiance, as when I had to spend whole days in bed after a day in the office or attending a social or press event, he took on all the housework, cooking, and looking after me.
The exhaustion taught me a lot about staying firm in my boundaries; I did have some inner conflict with not wanting to look like I was being flaky with friends or not pulling my weight at work, but once I accepted that my body and mind simply does not operate in the same way as it did when I wasn't pregnant, and I remembered I was doing this for my baby, it was easier. Again, like the headaches, around week 23 was a turning point for this symptom. I was still tired, but like a regular tired, nowhere near the level it had been since like week 5 of my pregnancy.
6 months - Instagram vs reality (non alcoholic, FYI!)
“Sleep now before the baby is born”
As I, and many others, will tell you, this is the biggest fallacy of pregnancy. Despite the exhaustion, I don't think I've slept through the night more than twice since late September. First and foremost, the toilet runs in the middle of the night. I'd sometimes go once in the night pre-pregnancy, but my current record, while pregnant, is four times. Then as a stomach sleeper, I had to adapt to side sleeping - and from about week 22 when I was feeling the significant weight of the baby, I'd spend the night turning and turning like the meat in a kebab shop lol. Maybe it’s all in aid of an easier adjustment for a newborn…
Having had a pregnancy massage towards the end of the trimester (thank you to my own mum for booking it!), I’d definitely sleep better if I could have that every night, haha.
Scans and appointments
Now for all the cool bits! If you don't need to visit the Early Pregnancy Unit, your first NHS scan will be the 12-week scan. My 12-week scan was my first external scan of the pregnancy, but not my first scan overall, and it fell at 13 weeks instead. Baby played coy with us and the ultrasound technician: while they moved around and moved a lot - I watched in awe as my child stretched, showed us hand movements and even turned their whole body away from us - it took an hour for the technician to get the head to bum measurements she needed. I had to star jump, wiggle, turn on my side, go for a walk, and drink more fluids. It was incredible though; I was on cloud 9 for the rest of the day.
I opted to pay privately for a scan between the NHS 12-week and 20-week scans, so I could find out my baby’s gender just before Christmas. My fiance and I found out the gender a week before Christmas Day, and despite me planning to reveal all to family and friends at Christmas in a low-key, but very ‘me’ way, we were both just too excited and told everyone via call, video call, or text within a few hours. It was a momentous day, and one I'll remember my whole life. And because all the old wives tales had me so convinced it was one gender, and instead it was the other, the surprise made it even sweeter.
The other routine NHS appointments in this trimester are your 16-week appt, a 20-week scan, a 25-week appt, and if you have some risk factors, a gestational diabetes check.
The 16-week appointment is usually where you hear your baby’s heartbeat for the first time; I heard my baby's heartbeat for the first time a few days before this - though still within week 16 - as I had a hospital visit for a concerning symptom (they thoroughly checked me out, and all was fine). It was amazing - I could have listened all day. At the 25-week appt, my child’s heart beat was significantly stronger and easier to find, though the appointment itself was much the same as 16 weeks, apart from conversations about baby's movement patterns. Be sure to get your Mat B1 form at this appointment, as you must submit it to work 15 weeks before your due date (and word of warning, don't take your company’s information as gospel; while some things are up to them, others are UK-wide law that isn't always adhered to).
I had my 20-week scan coming out of a horrendous flu - the most ill I’ve been in my adult life - and was told I could not move it by the hospital. However, as I'd had all that time ill in bed feeling baby move, I felt very calm about the anatomy scan and, as I'd suspected, everything looked normal!
Throughout my pregnancy, Instagram served me a lot of reels about this gestational diabetes test. That sugary drink is no where near as vile as the countless reels will have you believe. Here in the UK, the drink you have to consume between blood tests simply tastes like a flat, watered down Fanta. You have one blood test before (having fasted overnight) and one two hours after drinking the drink.
movement
It is said that with your first baby, you should feel baby’s movements between 16 and 24 weeks. However, I'm not crazy when I say I felt something, especially on certain late afternoons and evenings, from as early as 13 weeks. It wasn’t painful and didn't feel like full on movement, but rather an odd sensation below or behind my belly button. After seeing how baby was so active at my 13-week scan, and then the established movement patterns I felt later on in the trimester which fit with these timings, I'm convinced it was them moving about. Around week 16/17, movement got significantly stronger, and by week 19/20, it was unmistakable, and I relished feeling them wriggle about.
From week 23, babies can hear and react to sounds outside the womb, and well, my child was subjected to my full shower concerts when washing my hair (curly girl routine, IYKYK) and I could clearly tell when I was getting kicks of approval… or silence. Tough crowd. We felt baby kick from the outside for the first time in week 24. I also often felt baby’s foot in my left rib around this time - something my mum said I used to do when she was having me.
If I'm completely honest with myself, it was around week 21 that I really felt I started to bond with my child; they were something wonderful before that I was caretaking in my abdomen and doing everything to protect, but I really started feeling a bond with them from this point onwards.
Cravings
Close behind “do you know the gender”; one of the most frequently asked questions I've received is whether I have any weird cravings. My first craving was something I usually couldn't care less about: Haribos. But specifically sour Haribos. Oh, and I didn't want the sweet itself; I simply wanted to suck the sour sugar and discard the sweet. Soon after, red grapes dipped lightly in salt was a firm favourite of mine for a bit, weird I know. Both of these cravings were early on in the trimester; and I had no others for the rest of the time.
Maternity clothes - what do you actually need?
For me, I was in that weird phase for a long while where none of my regular trousers or zip up skirts fit me, but maternity trousers just felt ill-fitting and not built for my body type (i.e. not for women with curves at the back too…). I was most comfortable in regular, non maternity wear that was loose and/or elasticated. My 2024/2025 winter wardrobe was essentially jumper dresses. I did have to get new bras at around six months and my God, ladies, get your bras fitted regularly!!! I couldn't believe the difference in comfort and support from my new, properly sized bras.
Also, to anyone reading this, I want you to know, especially with your first pregnancy, it is normal not to show for a while - just as it's normal to show from as early as 8 weeks too! Unless I was in a tight outfit, or lifted my top up, my bump barely showed day-to-day until I was 23/24 weeks pregnant (six months), and I didn't really know how to respond to “you don't even look pregnant” as I agreed. My two usual responses may have sounded a little defensive (“but the midwives say baby is measuring fine - even a little big” or “well, I feel it!”) but they were both true - and it was that or a weird silence, haha.
Preparing for birth
I used this trimester to research a lot on birth: anyone who knows me knows I'm a planner. However, I know birth and motherhood is so unpredictable; I just want to avoid being a passive participant, instead having a basic understanding of what is going on with my body. Beware though, there is such a thing of having information overload, especially in the age of social media when everyone has an opinion.
I read The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill, which was such an empowering read, and really reframed my fear surrounding birth. It also gave me the knowledge to then ask questions of my midwife mum, or mum friends around me.
Many people recommended doing a hypnobirthing course; I did two - one free and an hour long, the other paid and more like 8 hours - and found the paid one far more helpful, and rooted far more in science. I also joined the associated Facebook group where real women shared real birth stories, which again, broke down years of media perceptions, and attended my local hospital trust’s online antenatal classes.
Read my top 5 things I’ve found super helpful during pregnancy thus far.
Other bits
I often joke that I'm like the mum in 2003’s Freaky Friday, with reminders always going off on my phone. Well, that hasn't changed since I've become pregnant; I've just added two new ones: to do my specific exercises and take my Pregnacare tablets. I guarantee I would do neither if I wasn't reminded!
On the other hand, something I didn't need reminding about was to take advantage of my Maternity Exemption Certificate (mat ex). The mat ex entitles you to free NHS prescriptions and some other care for the duration of your pregnancy and for a year after. I received this towards the end of my first trimester, then BAM practically booked up a full body MOT.
‘Mummy’ and ‘Daddy’ at a Kensington Palace event this trimester
I was quite reflective in this second trimester, about myself, the women around me, and even women in our society as a whole. Key thoughts below:
From about week 16, I truly felt ‘pregnant’. Don't get me wrong, of course I had 3+ months worth of symptoms before that, but I now became so mindful that I'm literally carrying around a tiny human in my body. I was also way more aware that every single thing I do has an effect on this human, and I'm the only one directly responsible at this time. My partner (who became my fiance during this trimester, eeeeeeeeeee) has been absolutely incredible every single step of the way since we found out we were having this baby - literally doing the lion's share of everything but my day job lol, and even more to keep me as comfortable and happy as possible - but evolutionarily, it can only be the woman who bears 24/7 responsibility at this stage: every bit of air I breathe into my lungs, every item of food that passes my lips, every glass of water that I do or don't drink, every environment I expose my body to, is having an effect on two people, and I'm the only one responsible. This was a very deep thought to first have on the toilet, thinking “wait, I'm not alone in the loo”.
I also gained a new understanding of actually, no matter how empathetic I felt I had been through friends’ pregnancies in the past, I never had full understanding of what they were going through in the way I do now. I would go as far as to say, you can't truly fully understand pregnancy (and birth) until you've experienced it yourself*. However, BIG asterisks, because I had some phenomenal support from a handful of friends/family without kids, who regularly checked in on how I was feeling, gave me the space to talk about this really huge experience I was going through, and even offered legal advice around pregnancy. I simply mean, there's just some aspects of pregnancy that can't be put into words (yes, even as a journalist); the words that do exist in the English language just aren't enough to fully convey what is trying to be explained. Women are bloody incredible. They really and truly are.
Which leads me onto nicely that this country isn't built to support growing families, so it's little wonder why birth rates have taken a nose dive. Amongst many other facts and figures I've consumed since becoming pregnant, a couple that have stood out to me is that it takes six weeks for the placental wound to heal after birth, and two years for women’s hormones to go back to what they were prior to pregnancy. This is no quick business, yet we judge women for not being put together and out and about sharing their baby with the world from the early on (and I myself am so guilty of judging others in the past for being off the radar and uncommunitive for months; I now realise how wrong this is). What’s more statutory maternity pay kicks in between 3-6 months aka we have to survive on less than half of minimum wage, or find our still healing bodies back at work; and women are expected back at work properly within absolute max a year. I'm thankfully in a position to be able to save hard while on a full salary, and if I need it, call on family support, so I can spend longer with my child than my monthly paycheck dictates, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about money once my full salary stops. All this is to say yes, it's people’s choice to have children or not, but equally, the system is unfairly unsupportive of that choice. What's the alternative? Only the rich and elite have children, and then we live in a world of Torys forever?! No, thanks!
