Although I spent the majority of my pregnancy preparing for a spontaneous vaginal delivery, and had bought a lot of the products associated with this ahead of time, I ended up birthing my daughter via c-section. As such, a lot of these products went unused in my hospital bag or on the shelf in the office-cum-nursery.
To save your bag and shelf the same fate: if you’re planning to have a c-section, or simply want to be prepared for all options, here are the essentials that actually did help me during my recovery post c-section surgery.
1. Cushions
Specifically a doughnut and a pregnancy pillow. The doughnut cushion was a purchase for when I thought I’d be having a vaginal delivery, but it was still super helpful for the car journey home from the hospital post c-section. The UK roads are bumpy as hell, and the cushion acted as a shock absorber.
The pregnancy pillow, which had been a hand-me-down from a dear friend for use during pregnancy, was also super helpful in the first week to mimic being propped up as you would be in a hospital bed. I could also bring the long side of the cushion round my body to protect my scar while breastfeeding.
It’s quite hard to get up from a complete laying position post c-section, so this cushion was a lifesaver; this difficulty lasted a good five or so weeks for me, but was at its worst in the first week. After this time, I used the bed frame/my partner’s arm/a long rolling manoeuvre to get up instead.
2. Frida disposable underwear
I wore these for nearly three weeks after my c-section - they’re super comfortable, high waisted to avoid the scar, breathable for the scar’s healing, and disposable, so you can save on washing (they may not be the most planet-friendly though, so when you’re ready, perhaps graduate to a bigger-than-you’d-normally-wear regular high waisted knickers).
3. Step ladder
As a petite lady, I need a step ladder in my own kitchen, post partum, or not; however, I got good use of it in the bathroom in the first couple of weeks post c-section too. Where we have a bathtub, rather than a shower cubicle, I had to use a step ladder to get my legs over the side of the bath for a good couple of weeks (with the added assistance of my partner for the first few days) due to my recovering abdomen muscles.
Shooting a few light hoops at six weeks post partum
4. Pads
No matter how baby comes into the world, you will have a post-birth bleed for up to six weeks as the wound left behind by the placenta needs to heal. This will appear like a period, varying from heavy to light at different times - it’s not linear - and it can increase based on your mobility over time. It’s not advised to use tampons during this time.
5. People
They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to look after the mother, especially in the first few weeks post partum. To help physically, I had my fiance and parents in most of the first week, and my fiance and my own stubborn will to get about thereafter. To help mentally, I had my fiance and family, of course, as well as some good friends. Whether it’s the consistent support of my best friend, no matter the situation, in the last 14 years, or newer friendships formed due to shared experiences of birth/motherhood, my support network has been invaluable during this period of huge change.
It is said that your friendship groups will shrink when you become a mother. I both agree and disagree with this; instead, they’ve changed a little. I have been surprised by the silence of some friends who haven’t reached out unless I message first (and, of course, this is a lower priority than it would have been pre-baby). However, I have also been surprised by a number of old friends/colleagues/uni mates who I hadn’t spoken to in years reaching out, some repeatedly, to check in and offer supportive words, if needed. Life changes, people have their own sh*t, I guess!
I have utmost respect for single mothers who do this without a partner, as I relied on mine very heavily post partum; both emotionally and physically. From the humbling experience of needing him washing my legs the day after I was discharged from hospital to the daily meals he’s cooked, or simply him being with our daughter, so I can type out this very blog post, I quite frankly couldn’t have managed this period without him. I also have a LOT of thoughts on how short the standard paternity leave is. It is no where near enough, but that’s a blog post for another day.
6. Movement
Initially, the last thing you’ll want to do is move when recovering from a c-section, but there’s a reason they advise it in the hospital. Slowly but surely, movement will heal you. Start small: getting up from the bed is a huge feat at first. Eventually, taking the stairs as you normally would feels like the biggest achievement. Before long, you’ll be taking short walks outside the house. My partner and I would take near daily walks with our daughter in the buggy just in the neighbouring streets, before eventually working my way up to the local park in week 5. I swam a couple of laps on week 6 and it felt amazing…
7. Patience
I was getting quite frustrated when I couldn’t get up for my child quickly in the night, even a couple of weeks in, or would need help lifting things that I’d have normally been able to do on any given day, like the hoover. However, there’s a reason the recovery time is six weeks minimum: c-sections are major abdominal surgeries! I tried to instead take joy in the little milestones: being able to moisturise my own legs on day 9, getting in the car unaided on day 10, painting my toe nails on day 18, or sleeping on my stomach for the first time in about nine months five weeks post c-section.
It’s worth noting, while they say physical c-section recovery is six weeks, this isn’t a hard deadline. I, for one, still have complete numbness on the outside of my lower stomach, and get some internal pain when getting up after laying down or sitting for a long period of time. Overall though, while recovery was tough, it was pretty manageable: it encouraged me to slow the hell down!