As a first-time mum, there are SO many things I learnt throughout pregnancy. Some small, some large, some downright surprising. No joke, I felt like everyday was a school day (as well as a work day… my brain is tired).
The main thing I learnt is that our pregnant friends and mum friends don't necessarily share everything with non-pregnant/non-mum friends; sometimes the words just aren't there to explain something so huge, while other times, we don't want to talk for hours on end on a topic you may not be interested in, despite it being our reality 24/7. There were many things when I noted them to my mum-to-be and mum friends, they were like YUP. So, with that in mind - and so I don't chat people’s ears off - here is everything that totally surprised me about pregnancy:
Pregnancy is technically closer to 10 months, than 9
I mean, if I did the maths, it'd be obvious: 40 weeks, with roughly 4 weeks per month. Makes sense
You will become way more aware of where your organs are in your torso
Weeing can feel different, the desire to go number 2 feels different, you're aware of your breathing more. Everything shifts during pregnancy to make room for your growing uterus and baby, resulting in bodily functions you've had all your life feeling slightly different.
The scarcity of appointments at the beginning of pregnancy
I found out I was pregnant at 5 weeks, so was shocked to learn that the earliest appointment you'll get is 9 weeks, unless something is wrong. I was there, sat with a huge life altering reality, my body already going through some wild changes, and no one “official” to talk about it with (thankfully my mum is a midwife). Even after 9 weeks, standard NHS appts in the first half of pregnancy are 9 weeks, 12 week scan, 16 week appt, and 20 week scan. In between, you're just vibing.
You don't need a full bladder for ultrasounds past a certain point
Early on, you'll need a full bladder, but from further on, you don't at all. However, at your midwife appointments, they will do a dip test, where they check your urine, so make sure you have enough wee for the tube.
Baby brain is a very real thing
Pregnant women sometimes experience forgetfulness and brain fog, and I was definitely one of them - though I tried to mask it at work. This is due to changes in the brain structure during pregnancy, plus the tiredness and hormones.
There are two stages of labour - and waters breaking isn't like it is in the media
Prior to my pregnancy, my only reference point for birth was the media and off the hand comments from other people that it's the “worst pain in the world”: most of it quite negative. However, I made it my mission during my pregnancy to address my fears through positive birth stories, hypnobirthing, and actually learning about what would happen to my body during labour, and while I'm not like YAY CAN'T WAIT, I'm also no longer terrified. Of the many many many things I learnt, one that surprised was what the muscles are doing during labour, and how contractions are first upwards as you dilate, then downwards to push the baby out (if having a vaginal birth). Also, waters breaking isn't necessarily the first sign of labour as the TV shows and films would have you believe!! This is more likely to come in active labour.
The severity of morning sickness varies drastically between women
As someone who feared vomiting - and would do all and everything to avoid it, whether ill or hungover - I was so apprehensive about morning sickness when I found out I was pregnant. However, unlike social media and the general media will have you believe, not everyone is head-over-toilet for the first trimester. Yes, I did have nausea, yes, I did throw up a few times, and yes, brushing my teeth was playing a dangerous game every damn time, but it felt manageable, you know? With some peppermint tea or a few Polos when a few waves came on, I was okay. And that's coming from me, an absolute wimp from vomiting. Some people do have severe morning sickness, of course, and there's also hyperemesis gravidarum, but I say this to say pregnancy doesn't automatically equal vomiting 24/7.
Pregnant women not only have super low immune systems, but they also produce way more mucus
So, when you get a cold or ill, that s*it will stay with you for ages!!!! What's worse, I ended up getting postnasal drips after each cold, which meant the most violent coughs the moment I lay down for weeks on end. It was horrendous.
Sleep while you can is the biggest myth ever!!!!!
The intense pregnancy exhaustion aside - where no matter how much you sleep, you're still tired - night time will bring back pain, rib pain, tossing and turning, limited sleeping positions and, most of all, regular toilet runs the further you progress into your pregnancy.
This is the longest you'll ever be congratulated for something
Lol, seriously.
A woman’s hormones don't go back to pre-pregnancy levels until two years after birth
A lot of what women go through to bear children isn't immediately obvious to the naked eye.
Statutory maternity pay is LESS than minimum wage, it is not for the full year, and it's TAXED
This was the learning that brought me down to early with the biggest bump; and that's coming from someone who has always been a savvy saver. At the time of writing, it's £187 a week, so around £750 gross - then you're taxed at your usual rate, so for me, that's 20%. Yep, do the math of outgoings (mortgage + bills + living) Vs incomings. Then on top of that, you're only eligible up to week 39, not the full year if you choose to take the full year maternity leave. Of course, usually it is people’s choice to have children, but if we didn't, who is paying tax in the future? Who is living in our society in the future? How does the human race continue? Only rich people have kids?
The ‘baby on board’ badge isn't a free pass to a seat
People will actively pretend not to notice you/your badge/your stomach when you're further along - or genuinely be so in their own world they don't notice. When I was in pain though or nauseous, I had no qualms asking for a seat.
breastmilk is an active liquid
It changes day to night, summer to winter, and will adapt to what your baby needs at any given time. Magic!
What has surprised you about pregnancy?