The third trimester: the final trimester of pregnancy, before I meet my little one. Out of all the trimesters, this one had the most challenges, but it was equally the most magical. I was also torn with not wishing a whole trimester away, so still aimed to embrace it all - and there have been some very fun milestones.
Read my first trimester blog here
Read my second trimester blog here
Appointments
The trimester starts with your 28-week appointment, and things feel a little different going forward. There is the same blood pressure monitoring, urine test, and fetal heartbeat checks as your 16-week and 25-week appointments, but there are the additions of bump measurements and discussion of baby’s weight, and as you get closer to your due date, discussions around birth plan, postnatal depression, etc. As standard, you'll have 28 weeks, 31 weeks, 34 weeks, 36 weeks, 38 weeks, and 40 weeks (and 41 weeks if baby hasn't arrived).
My 28-week appointment went mostly well, though the midwife had concerns about the small size of my bump, so sent me for a growth scan to measure baby; however, I personally wasn't concerned at the time, as I'm a petite woman. The outcome of this scan was us being moved to consultant-led care for our third trimester. Initially, this came with a lot of mum guilt: have I not been eating enough? Have I not been resting enough? But speaking to other mums who have been subject to similar testing in their pregnancies reassured me. As a result, out of the ‘standard’ appointments I listed above, we didn’t have all of these, and had a number of foetal growth scans and consultant appointments instead. I was apprehensive when they started talking about induction and suggesting induction dates as the weeks went on in these appointments, but I kept the faith that everything would be okay, and my hypnobirthing course gave me the confidence to ask the questions and make an informed decision around being induced.
At my routine 36-week appointment, I had concerning urine and blood pressure results, which resulted in multiple overnight hospital stays, a diagnosis of pre-eclampsia, an ‘almost birth’, and ultimately, baby’s arrival [at the time of writing, baby isn’t here yet, but we have a potential date; check back for my birth story blog post]. I can’t lie, it was all pretty overwhelming for both me and baby, being prodded and poked, monitored around the clock within every inch of ourselves. And mentally, that ‘almost birth’ was A LOT [again, I’ll go into that in my birth story blog]. Little things made it better though: I had an end bay by a window for both stays, they brought round ice lollies for all the patients mid afternoon, and of course, I have a great fiance and support network! The nights were a different story though: although it was mostly quiet, between the checks, the uncomfy beds, and the general situation, I didn’t sleep too well. The staff were so lovely though, and the stays acted as practise runs, so I could form expectations for the eventual birth.
Movement (and hiccups)
Much like the funny reels on IG warned, baby’s movement becomes so much stronger in this trimester: I would sometimes jump when baby kicked, as it would take me by surprise. It's undeniably another human touching you (though I saw a reel of a woman describing it like how it would feel to hold a moving frog within your hands, and that feels v accurate too). From 30 weeks, I could physically see the kicks from the outside, which was SO cool. As baby got bigger, I could also tell in my stomach where they were laying - like I could make out where baby’s back or butt was - and baby would sometimes respond to my touch too.
I could decipher the rhythmic feeling of baby’s hiccups. I loved feeling baby so much, and I think this is one of the key things I'll miss about pregnancy, despite having my child out in the world. Those early mornings, or late night movements, where we could bond with baby, or me just chatting to baby in the loos at work for a bit, or discreetly rubbing my abdomen on my commute. It felt like a little secret sometimes, as while others didn't always acknowledge baby’s existence - hey, I can't expect everyone to talk about my fave topic 24/7 - this baby was all I thought about most of the day.
Symptoms and side effects
The movement section leads me on nicely to symptoms and side effects. Unlike the previous two trimesters where, apart from the exhaustion, things were pretty manageable, I had a lot of the main symptoms and side effects of the third trimester: rib, back, and bladder pain; swollen feet and ankles; Braxton Hicks; heartburn; waking with hiccups; numbness; nausea; needing the loo constantly through the night; significant pressure around…umm… baby’s exit route. I also had a post-nasal drip for months on end after two rounds of colds/flus, which meant constant coughing for a good while, and the diagnosis of pre-eclampsia as mentioned above with the hospitalisations.
There were days where I'd just feel uncomfortable for hours - or even the whole day - while other days, I'd feel absolutely fine. It's all part and parcel though; on those occasions where I wished for just 15/20 minutes away from my own body, so I could get some let up during this nine months, I still felt incredibly blessed that my body has been able to carry my child, and protect and grow them for nine months. It's not something everyone’s body can do - hell, it's not something I thought my own body could do "without help” as per two GPs’ comments on my fertility in my 20s. Yet here we are.
I have to say the worst part of being pregnant for me (apart from the hospital stays I experienced) was not being able to just focus on being pregnant, if that makes sense? Where I wanted to focus all my attention on this life altering stage, especially if this was the only time I’d go through it, I was a bit sad that I couldn't just hide away and do that - no matter how unrealistic that sounds. I sometimes resented the long days at work, and even some social commitments, as I didn't want to look back on the experience of pregnancy and feel like I missed it. As such, I made a massively conscious effort to put this experience first in the third trimester.
On the flip side, I've loved the effect pregnancy has had on my skin - I have never had this clear skin since before puberty - and generally, my body confidence. Humble brag, but a lot of people said the classic “you're glowing” and that I suited pregnancy, and I must say, externally, I did agree. From my other experiences in this trimester, I know how things ‘look’ isn't always reflective of what’s going on on the inside, but this was a positive I can't discount either.
Preparing for birth
As prompted by my Pregnancy+ app, I wrote my initial birth plan (which I reframed to “birth preferences” after doing my hypnobirthing course to acknowledge its fluidity) towards the end of second trimester. However, this was in no way a final draft, as I still wanted to do a little more research on some bits in order to give informed consent and generally have an understanding of what would be happening to my body. I used this trimester to do so. Ultimately, this birth plan went out the window due to the circumstances surrounding my child’s birth, but nonetheless, I was still happy to have this knowledge.
One of the things I found most helpful was talking to friends and family about their birth stories. These spanned vaginal births, c sections, no pain relief, pain relief, and it was so informative to hear from people whose personalities I knew, so I could reconcile something tangible (while still acknowledging that every birth is unique).
Prepping for baby’s arrival
It was in this trimester we really started to prepare for post-birth: my child’s arrival. I did most of my antenatal classes during this time, we started making the baby purchases (as did our family and friends), and made the adjustments to our home office-cum-nursery. It was super exciting - I loved it! Spooked by the fact I'd heard of two May babies in my circle (family of friends) being born in early April, we washed all baby’s clothes and I packed some semblance of a hospital bag between weeks 32 and 34.
I know it's a bit of an American thing, but I love me a party or a ‘lime’ as they say in Trinidad (a ‘hang out’), so we always planned to have a baby shower. We held it at home to keep numbers to just immediate family and close friends; my fiance cooked all the food (Jamaican dishes and BBQ); and two friends did all the music/games/decor (pink and gold, and SO many little touches from party favours to a letter from the bump). I was blown away by the love that encased our home on that sunny April afternoon. It was laughter, good food, and the integration of two family and friend groups all together. We are blessed.
Another rather modern practice I did was a maternity shoot. I wanted to immortalise this transformative period of my life. A friend who is a gifted photographer came and shot the photos at a venue with whom I have a very good rapport with, Tulleys Farm; we really felt like VIPs on shoot day. I'm so grateful to both the friend and venue (and my fiance for ferrying us around, and for seriously making some of the photos with his posing).
Knowing when to stop work
I stopped going into the office at 32 weeks. Despite having a fab office/WFH balance in place already, by this time, the two-hour commute each way, the length of the days, and just not being in my home comforts on days where I felt intensely uncomfortable got too much. When I originally submitted my maternity leave plans, I intended to work up to just shy of 38 weeks, which seemed reasonable, but as I entered the final few weeks prior to this, I really started to struggle - and the consultant really spoke on resting, which despite doing a desk job, there wasn't much of in my role due to my varied responsibilities.
As such, in the end, I listened to my body and intuition, and I finished up at 36 weeks. I did struggle throughout the whole pregnancy with having to be ‘on top form’ at work and channelling that same energy I had done my entire career when my body and brain had been completely rewired and my priorities had shifted massively. I felt I outwardly handled it well, but inwardly was interesting for sure.
Maternity wear
As with my second trimester, I didn't really buy much maternity wear - just two co-ords - and instead I sized up on stretchy dresses and loose trousers. I'll be honest, I wore a lot of the same outfits on rotation, and I didn't actually wear jeans or buttoned up trousers for nearly 8 months, but that's fine. They'll be waiting for me in the next couple months!
Towards the very end of pregnancy, some of my fiance’s t-shirts became part of my wardrobe attire, especially as I was mostly at home or in the hospital anyway.
Other bits
This is going to sound odd, but throughout my pregnancy, I became super aware of where my organs sit in my torso. Pre-pregnancy, I could perhaps vaguely gesture where my bladder was or stomach, but I could tell exactly where they were during pregnancy. Things, like going to the toilet, or the need to go to the toilet, felt different too. It all makes sense, of course, given how the organs totally shift during pregnancy.
Final word
I am publishing this blog post just before the end of my third trimester (so please forgive any inconsistencies in tenses as I’m still in the experience, but trying to write in past tense!); and as I look to the ‘fourth trimester’ post partum stage that’s soon to come, I feel quite reflective.
Although it’s been hard, and it’s had some pretty tough moments, I have enjoyed pregnancy - though I’m so excited to meet my child and the life that comes next. Pregnancy is a transformation. I’m not fully the same person I was in the first trimester: my priorities have shifted somewhat, and for the first time ever, I put me and my body (and of course my bub) first, with far less concern of how it looked or affected others. I’ve learnt to listen to my body in a way I’d never done before. I’m slowly embracing the chaotic - or at least embracing that I can’t plan all the time, and have to go with the flow sometimes. It’s taught me that you can do all the reading, but not really understand something until you’re in it. It’s also taught me more than ever than social media is never even half the story of what someone is going through. Even as a writer, I can’t really put into words completely pregnancy is like, but it has truly changed my life.