The best spots for self reflection in and around Sydney

Since moving here, I’ve had more time with my own thoughts than I’d ever had in London; I’m now undistracted by a full calendar, away from familiar surroundings, and on my own far more. As a result, I’ve unexpectedly done a lot of self-reflection. A friend said to me when I first got here: “living abroad isn’t always about having the best time ever, but rather having an incredible learning experience.” He was right!

Now that Covid restrictions are easing here in Australia, here are my top 5 spots for self-reflection; after all, gotta make the most of being abroad with some sightseeing in between the soul searching!

Royal Botanical Gardens, CBD

It is here, back in 2018, that I first thought to myself “I could live in this city.” The swaying palms tower above and the colours of the plants are vibrant; wandering around the gardens is such a good way to reset your mind, as you soak up the gorgeous nature. What’s more, as you take the north-west exit from the gardens (towards the water), and follow the path around, the famous Sydney Opera House appears. When I get those “why did I move here, again?” feelings, this is where I go, and within an instant, I remember.

Lavender Bay, Lower North Shore

Just across from the CBD, over the Sydney Harbour Bridge, lies Lavender Bay. In this peaceful spot, you can sit and admire the boats on the harbour, as well as drink in a magnificent view of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. I sat there one afternoon for hours, happy as Larry, and was even inspired to do a little sketch (art is evidently not my strong point…) If you’ve got time, make a walk of it: get a bus across the bridge, stroll down to Wendy’s Secret Garden, then into Lavender Bay, before passing Luna Park, and finally crossing the aforementioned Harbour Bridge by foot, admiring stunning views of the harbour and Opera House below.

Coogee to Bondi // Manly to the Spit coastal walks

Talking of pretty walks, the six-kilometre Coogee to Bondi coastal walk is a stunning stretch for self-reflection, as is the 10-kilometre Manly to the Spit - and you can start the latter journey with a gorgeous ferry ride. From dramatic cliffs to secluded bays (plus a creepy but weirdly charming graveyard on Bondi-Coogee, and burned bushland on Manly - the Spit), there’s plenty to see as you mull over your thoughts and get that step count up. There are also plenty of spots to sit and stare out to sea. While Coogee and the famous Bondi beaches are often packed, there are less crowded beaches in between both walks, so come off the walking route and dip your toes in the water along the way.

Cremorne Point, Lower North Shore

An easy ferry ride from Circular Quay (which I only learned on my way back, after an hour’s bus + walk… whoops), you’ll find Cremorne Point. This 3km loop will take you past a smattering of gorgeous ‘Barbie house’ homes that boast spectacular views of the water and yachts bobbing along - you’ll be reflecting on how much you want to live there, that’s for sure. When you get to the tip (so you’re facing the city), take a left and walk down the little path: you’ll find the perfect spot for self-reflection. There’s a small rock on which you can sit and look over the water at the city, Opera House and Harbour Bridge, watching the boats zoom in and out, and the cars crawl along behind the Opera House like little bugs.

Pittwater, Northern Beaches

Now, this one is an hour north of Sydney, and most easily reached by car. On one side, you have Palm Beach aka Summer Bay, home of the popular soap, Home and Away, while on the other, you’ll find calmer waters with a horizon that wouldn’t look out of place in the likes of Switzerland, New Zealand, or even Ha Long Bay. you’ll find calmer this tourist town is a surprisingly serene spot for a little self-reflection. After some quiet time here, make sure you stop for some fish and chips Summer Bay side, then follow the tourists upwards, towards the lighthouse, for a breathtaking view of the two beaches.

Blue Mountains National Park, NSW

Okay, so this one isn’t technically Sydney, but it is within easy reach. An hour west of the city, the verdant Blue Mountains National Park is made up of a selection of residential towns, spectacular lookouts, waterfalls, and tourist attractions, like the Three Sisters, Echo Point and Scenic Skyway. For most of lockdown, I was lucky enough to be welcomed into the family home of a dear friend of mine who lives in the Blue Mountains, so I was able to benefit from quieter, hidden lookouts (usually just us there) and being immersed in Aussie birdlife. Stepping away from the bright lights of the city proved very cathartic.

Been to Sydney? What are your favourite spots to self reflect and clear your mind?

How to combat loneliness when you move abroad

It may appear a little strange that I should be writing this only nine days into moving abroad, but my first bout of loneliness set in pretty early on. As someone who often does solo day trips, likes time to herself and was so sure she wasn’t going to get that homesick, I was pretty surprised at these feelings. Nonetheless, it doesn’t diminish my ability to recognise the incredibly lucky position I am in at the moment, or make me regret my decision to make the move; it is just part and parcel of totally uprooting life as you know it on your own.

It rained a fair bit during my first week, and I’m sure that initially contributed to it, but even in good weather, it was there bubbling away as I looked at pairs, groups and families throughout the day. Back home, I had quite an active social life; however, here, while I was happily posting photos all over Instagram, I kept quiet that it took an hour for me to find someone to snap a photo with me in (it was a lot harder than I’d expected to identify another solo traveller who wasn’t on the phone, asleep or donning headphones within my vicinity). I FaceTimed people back home, happy as Larry detailing my day ahead, as I know I am expected to be having the time of my life right now - I too am like “come on, girl, whatcha moaning about, as you sit on the beach?!” - and I don't want to worry anyone, least of all my mum (who will be reading this - read on, Mother Goose, you'll see I'm fine now!).

It is drilled into us that to be a strong woman in the 21st century, one must relish in her own company. It's not deemed an attractive quality to be needy (and it's not a value I personally hold high either). But, I'm going to say here and now that IT'S OKAY TO FEEL LONELY. It's not shameful, it doesn't make you weak; it is human, and we are social beings. I did feel ashamed to admit it initially, like I didn't have a right to feel this way in my enviable position, but everyone's feelings are valid. And another thing, there are ways you can cure it - or, at least, alleviate it a little.

Look at the bigger picture

It's easy to forget about the times you’ve actually spent with people when you've been on your own for at least eight hours straight each day. I felt lonely at the beginning of my day at Bondi Beach, yet just 12 hours before, I had been sat with my new housemates in ballgowns watching the Oscars, laughing away (then screaming away #HuntsmanGate). I've had some good meals and reality TV binges with people while I've been here and, when I recalled these, it helped alleviate the "I'm 100% on my own" feelings a little.

Also, remember why you moved abroad in the first place. When I visited Sydney in 2018, I left the city feeling like I needed a lot more time here, and that it was somewhere I could see myself potentially living. Fast forward two years, and here I am. Put yourself in the mindset of the girl or guy you were when you initially put these plans in motion, and look at the bigger, brighter picture.

Try not to rely on others

This may seem like silly advice when feeling you’re feeling lonely, but bear with me. As the saying goes, “you are responsible for your own happiness”; while you may have friends already in your new country, remember, they have their own lives too, just like you did at home. Try not to get disappointed if you don't fit into their routine in the way you’d expected; make your own routine instead. Dedicate the time you normally wouldn’t have had to your hobbies. Mine is writing, which is best done alone anyway, and is a great way to escape. In a similar vein, if your hobby is more team or sport-based, find a group in your area - there seems to be one for everything these days!

Another way you can make use of this ample alone time is to learn a new skill. Always wanted to know a bit more about Google Analytics? Fancy making a ceramic pot? There is no time like the present! Classbento.com.au offers a great selection of hands-on sessions in Australia, while a friend of mine, who relocated to Dubai, suggested Udemy.com for online classes.

Reach out

It may seem a little contradictory to my last point, but as I said, we are social beings. You're not the first person to be in this position and you won't be the last! Reach out to friends who have immigrated and see what they have to say. I got some great advice from a friend who moved to Canada from London, as well as another who moved to Dubai; they may have gone to different countries and in different circumstances, but we have a shared experience. Similarly, the friends or acquaintances you have in your new home may not even realise you're feeling this way, so be honest; I outright asked to set a plan with my housemate and she was right there, ready to don a swimsuit for a beach day.

Moreover, technology is an incredible gift; see whose time zone lends itself to a quick call. Even if it's not someone you wish to bare your soul to, hearing a friendly, familiar voice will set you right. You may even see your situation - being in an amazing new country, ready to explore - through their eyes as you chat.

Reaching out to strangers may help too. I am part of the Solo Female Travellers Meet Ups page on Facebook, and I posted a call out to people based in Sydney. I had many responses and struck up a good few chats, which have led to some meetups next week! If you’re staying in a hostel, this is a great way to go.

Avoid being hard on yourself

Lastly, you have to do what's best for you. Cry, indulge in a spot of retail therapy, order a large portion of chips to eat by the sea, because you just can't get enough of Hungry Jack's BBQ plum sauce (okay, I’m projecting now)… take care of number one.