An open letter about everyday racism

How do you define differences in race? Is it where you were born? The culture you identify most with? The literal colour of your skin: black, white or brown?

Have you ever uttered “Where are you really from?” when you got an answer that was more ‘white’ than you expected to your “Where are you from?” question?

The motivation behind this question isn’t always spiteful, but is an example of everyday racism people are talking about all over social media right now. Everyday racism, everyday sexism, everyday things that perpetuate the belief that one type of person is better than another is harmful. One comment here, one comment there might seem harmless, but it adds another ounce to a problem being experienced worldwide. There’s a distinct difference between tongue-in-cheek jokes and a joke that isn’t really a joke.

Many people had opinions on Australia’s attitudes to people of colour when I moved here. I live in one of the country’s main cities, so I don’t feel any kind of way being here at all. That said, this two-minute exchange from months ago still sits awkwardly with me: as I was walking out of Kmart, the customer assistant by the door asked to look inside my bag. I complied, but asked her why. She replied not to worry, but I pressed and she got flustered, red and apologised, but still gave no reason. She looked 19 at most, and very embarrassed, so I left it. Some of you may question whether it was about race, in fact, I did too, at first; as someone who has had quite an English upbringing, it is admittedly not often my first thought. In the first draft of this article, I listed a paragraph of reasons validating why she had no other reason to stop me, but they are dead words, because I know my brown skin is why she wanted to see inside my bag.

This experience doesn’t affect how I feel about shopping and it was an isolated incident for me, but I have many peers for whom this isn’t. To them, this isn’t even a big thing, because it’s N.O.R.M.A.L. How many of you can say this? Now, think why or why not.

I could write a whole essay on media representation of people of colour, and have for many a coursework over the years, but I’ll keep it to a few sentences for the purposes of this piece. Media representation and journalism are huge passions of mine, and bias is unavoidable, but just watch what you’re reading. To the untrained eye, the words in articles may seem harmless, but for even those sources I would deem reliable, you need to have your wits about you: for example, often more negative adjectives are being used to describe the protesters compared to the police in coverage of America’s protests right now.

What is my purpose in writing this piece? I have loved ones who are far more qualified to talk on this subject than I am, to whom this cause strikes even closer, who have countless first-hand experiences. However, I want to show that this affects ALL people of colour, even your most Anglo-cised friends, housemates and drinking pals. Don’t be “faux woke”: join the global conversation that shouldn’t stop for years to come until equality is actually achieved, and do your best to keep actively learning about the inequality and how we can change it.

Image by: @krisstraub

Living abroad in the Coronavirus pandemic

Part 1: The start of the pandemic, written March 2020

I first and foremost write content for this website, so I can look back at a trip, or trips, and remember little details I may otherwise forget (but as it’s in the public forum, I use angles so others can learn and perhaps laugh when they read it too); the Coronavirus, as unforgettable as it will be, is a big part of my Sydney journey. I hope my comments are not seen to diminish the catastrophic effect this virus has had on many families’ and individuals’ lives.    

We are having different experiences

I am living under different government recommendations to those in the UK. This is something I didn’t really realise until a discussion with my boyfriend as to why I was still making plans at a time where, back in the UK, everyone had started social distancing. I am currently due to start working from home next week, while everyone back home is already a week or more into their home offices. Of course, our food situations are the same, but a week ago, I could still stock up on hand-gel from Chemist Warehouse.

EDIT: The situation is changing so rapidly; all comments were accurate at the time of publication.

It feels weird being so far from my loved ones

It does feel really strange that I am 10,500 miles away from home, with my only viable mode of transport uncertain. In fact, it is making me a little anxious when I read that this lockdown could continue for some time to come, which leaves my plans to return home at the end of the year up in the air… unfortunately, not literally. However, for anyone else also in my position, it is essential to remember that this would be just as weird a situation if we were at home.

It’s not always selfish to venture outdoors…

… but follow government guidelines and take precautions. None of these casual park picnics. Everyone is preaching to be kind in the supermarket (as they should be), then throwing around the word “selfish” all over Instagram in relation to people who aren’t completely indoors. It is worth remembering that mental health is just as delicate as physical health, especially in this time of panic. Many of you are holed up in your home sweet homes, with your partners, pets, parents, kids – not everyone has this luxury.

The thought of being pretty much a recluse has me feeling suffocated already, more so that I sacrificed and saved a lot to live in Australia for 2020. As minor as it is in comparison to other issues right now, like actual deaths, it is something I think about. Many others are facing uncertainties in their job, career progression, life and relationships, and some have even experienced deaths in their close circle as a result of this epidemic, so be kind.

There are ways to make the most of this isolated time

Now is the time to get on your phone, fire up that Skype account, and make the most of technology. Phone your grandparents, video call your mum, text that old friend you’ve been meaning to contact for ages, host a weekly quiz with your old work team (just me? Okay). You can even go old school and get writing letters – you’ll have to go down the post office/to the post box though – a nice little surprise for your recipient.

Also, take the time to get out of your routine and come refocused for work; don’t get lazy with working from home. I started a new job this week in a brand-new industry, and I am conscious of proving myself. Remember, businesses are suffering are as a result of Coronavirus, so if you want to stay employed, you may need to prove yourself invaluable.

On the other hand, when else are you going to have this much time at home? Bake a cake, get sewing, relax in those hours you’re not required to work. We are all in this situation - albeit having different experiences, of course - so try and find that silver lining of this very grey cloud for you.

Closing word

Firstly, don’t panic. Fear breeds fear, and this is how false information spreads. Worrying about the situation will not make it any better or worse, so try to take a break from the news if you can, and focus on some lighter relief (easier said than done, I know). Remember, amidst the madness, this situation is bringing out the creativity in people, from live-streamed events to online gymming.

Secondly, I am a planner. I always have been and always will be. However, as my mum said, you can have the best-laid plans, but no one can control everything. This is life. 

Part 2: During the pandemic, written July 2020

We are still having different experiences

The experience here is totally different to that back home in the UK. Lockdown was far more strict in Australia, with tighter restrictions and MUCH bigger fines for breaking them. With this approach, we saw things opening up a lot sooner than in the UK. That said, Victoria has gone back into lockdown and there are threats to do the same to Sydney if the hotspots get out of control - it is winter, which potentially may be a factor.

Travel

Of course, the travel fallout was felt worldwide, however, there were more significant repercussions for those living abroad than for the regular holiday goer. In Australia, the borders were - and still are at the time of publication - closed to international travellers, meaning if non-permanent residents or citizens leave, they ain’t coming back in. For those like me, it meant making a decision: go home, marking the end of my visa, or stay. As I realised from the many ex-pat groups I am part of, most chose the first option. On the other hand, I chose to stay, thinking it just meant no travelling around the country for a bit.

At the time of publication, the only other state I can enter without paying $2,800 for government-mandated quarantine is Queensland (however this is looking a little dicey as our cases grow again). It does mean that I can’t visit a good half of what I wanted to see this year, however, I can still do breaks all across NSW, if I get behind the wheel or have someone drive me; Greyhound buses, which are a great way to see the country without a car, have been suspended out of Sydney (excluding Canberra), URGH. You know me though, where there is a will, there is a way - I’m going to see as much as I can!!

However, there was one significant repercussion I didn’t foresee that has had a rather large impact: I do not have the option to go home for a visit (without forfeiting the rest of my visa), or have any home visitors. I would love nothing more than to have one of these two options, particularly in my low periods.

Making new friends

On arrival in a new country, the easiest way to make friends is to post in Facebook groups or meet friends of friends at gatherings. However, these are both a lot harder (impossible in the strictest part of lockdown) during the pandemic. As mentioned above, many ex-pats went back to the UK, so even as lockdown eases, the pool of people in the Facebook groups is a lot smaller, and overall, people are currently a lot warier about meeting up with total strangers.

Work

I am so grateful to have secured a great job before lockdown; had I not, I would have definitely had to return home very soon after arriving. Unfortunately, it was this same sword that saw the early end of my contract; the coronavirus affected the work environment and the work opportunities for both ex-pats and Australians alike. Of course, everyone is working from home, which has its positives and negatives: hello lay-ins, but goodbye colleagues. I personally have enjoyed working from home - how ever am I going to adapt to office life again?!

In the last few months, the job market plummeted here, much like at home, and many lost their jobs. Given how hard it was to secure a job prior to lockdown, it is unlikely I will secure another, so I am going to save save save to enjoy the rest of my time here.

Sometimes simple pleasures are the best

Simple pleasures have seen a comeback, thanks to lockdown - the silver lining, hey. Back home, I know my family have been cooking up a storm and getting into gardening, while down in the southern hemisphere, I’ve been enjoying the flexibility of going for a walk or run in my lunch break, as well as cross-stitching. Oh, and wearing leggings all day, every day. Now, that is a habit I’m going to have problems unlearning once this pandemic is totally over…

Are you living abroad during this pandemic? I’d love to hear your story - get in touch!

Leukaemia Awareness Month: Using grief for something positive

Images: Kerri Walter (@kerriwalterphotography)

Google defines Leukaemia as "a malignant progressive disease in which the bone marrow and other blood-forming organs produce increased numbers of immature or abnormal leukocytes. These suppress the production of normal blood cells, leading to anemia and other symptoms." In layman's terms, it is cancer of the blood where, as more cancer cells are produced, the body is less capable of making healthy white blood cells - the guys that help us fight infections.  

September is Leukaemia Awareness Month (referred to as Blood Cancer Awareness Month on this side of the pond) and, while it is all good and well knowing what Leukaemia is in theory, it is a disease that affects more than just the person's blood: on an emotional level, it is a horrible disease that affects not only the sufferer, but the people around them, too. 

According to the Cancer Research UK website, 27 people are diagnosed with Leukaemia each day, and one in 63 men, and one in 94 women, will be diagnosed with the disease during their lifetime. Five days before her 25th birthday, Georgia Hutchins passed away from this form of cancer. 

"I didn't know much about Leukaemia when I found out Georgia had it, apart from that it was cancer of the blood. Initially, I thought she'd stand a good chance of fighting it because she was so young and healthy - there was literally nothing wrong with her, yet she was gone within three months of diagnosis," said her friend, Zoey Lewis. 

Zoey & Georgia - Image: Zoey Lewis

Georgia and Zoey met in secondary school; they sat next to each other on their first day of year 7 and hit it off straight away. Throughout school, they were inseparable, doing normal things all girls growing up in Essex do, along with the rest of their friendship group.

"I can't really remember a situation when Georgia wasn't there when we were growing up," Zoey reflects. "Even if she wasn't in my class, she'd be helping me revise and, after leaving school, she was always at the end of the phone. She would always text us at 6am on Christmas Day without fail and we had long conversations on the phone during every Eurovision contest."

As the girls got older, Zoey recalls that Georgia was excellent at organising things and would be the one to set up a dinner, or other plans, for the friendship group: "you could always count on her; she would never let you down or let you be forgotten."

Georgia was diagnosed with Leukaemia in February 2018 and, unfortunately, Zoey was unable to see her at the time as her immune system was quite vulnerable. However, she seemed quite upbeat and positive on the phone, and was really quite blown away by everyone's response. 

Throughout her illness in the months that followed, meeting up obviously became harder. "I bought her lots of little pampering gifts, which ended up staying at my desk at work because she'd be too tired. Also, if I, or anyone else, had a cold or an illness, we were not allowed to visit in case it harmed her immune system."

On 24th May, Georgia sadly succumbed to her illness. However, despite her grief, Zoey is channeling her energy into doing something positive in Georgia's memory. "I couldn't just let her go without doing something for her as a thank you for everything she did for me in the past. At the funeral, I learned apparently Georgia was so blown away by the care she received that she said she'd be poor for the rest of her life because she'd give all her money away to charity! That was the point I silently said to her, "okay, let's do this"; Georgia had cut off her hair when she was told she'd probably lose it and she donated it to charity. Her bravery and selfless attitude made my shave seem really simple. I had nothing to lose apart from my hair, whereas Georgia had everything on the line."

"[When I first shaved my head] everyone said I really suited it! The first week or so, I did get a few stares from people on the street, but I don't notice them anymore. I feel proud to know the reason I don't have any hair, even if the people looking at me don't know!"

On a jovial level, Zoey noticed a few things: "wind is a strange experience. Showers are strange, too. I reach for my hairbrush in the mornings automatically, then laugh. I keep going to brush my fringe out of my eyes and tuck my hair behind my ears, or play with my ponytail, forgetting it's not there."

Currently raising money for the Teenage Cancer Trust, at the time of publishing this piece, Zoey has raised £3,710 on her JustGiving page alone, but has also done other things, like bake sales, that have added to her fundraising total. "I think Georgia would have been happy with [the bake sale]; she was excellent in the kitchen."

Zoey added: "I'm grateful for the time we live in - I would never have been able to raise this much without the use of social media and being able to reach out to the people I didn't know, but Georgia did."

Teenage Cancer Trust, along with Clic Sargent, supported Georgia throughout her illness and Zoey plans to also do fundraising for the latter within the year. This stretch has been her first time fundraising for charity and credits her success to Georgia herself: "if she hadn't been so loving and giving, most people wouldn't have given this a second thought."

To donate to the Teenage Cancer Trust on Zoey's JustGiving page, click here.