The Twenties In Transit #30Before30 list

FINAL COUNT: 27/30 - I blame the pandemic, haha - though 29/30 were achieved before my 31st birthday!

At age 21, I finished university and had my whole life ahead of me. What would it entail? What adventures would I go on? Who would I meet?

Personally, I’d always been big on both goals and lists, so I wrote a ‘30 before 30’ list of everything I wanted to achieve by May 2023. These were a mixture of life goals, travel goals and generally things I wanted to do, big or little. May 2023 sounded like the distant future, I couldn’t even fathom it at the time, but writing up this piece now (April 2022 for first publication), it seems very much around the corner.

Have a read below, and if ‘30 before 30’ (or ‘40 before 40’, ‘50 before 50’, ‘60 before 60’, and so on) sounds like something you’d like to do, GO FOR IT.

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A little, slightly serious, disclaimer

It’s worth noting that, despite my jokes to friends and family, these goals aren’t about pressure, and I won’t spontaneously combust or hate myself if I don’t achieve them all by 30 - life happens, and we can’t plan for that. Also, this list with its little green ticks is a curated final product; the ‘best bits’ that I’ve chosen to present to the internet. This list is guided by my own circumstances and approach to life; ‘achievement’ looks different to different people, and sh*t will happen (and has happened, but doesn’t fit the jovial tone of the article I’m going for haha).

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1. Take up piano playing again ✅

After playing the keyboard and piano for 11 years, aged 5-16, I just stopped for the next 13+ years. However, just after Christmas 2022, I bought a piano, two sheet music books and committed to playing on a semi-regular basis once again.

2. Ride a boat in Venice ✅

Completed on an interrailing trip around Italy, Switzerland, Austria and France with my best friend.

3. See the Colosseum in Rome ✅

Completed on a trip to Rome with my mum.

4. Visit 30 countries before I turn 30 ✅

Due to the pandemic removing around two years of international travel, I’ve had to be a little creative with this one:

• I am counting the UK as three separate countries (I’ve not been to Northern Ireland)

• I will include England as one of my 30, as I very much do explore outside of where I live

• Technically, by my 30th birthday, I’ll have visited and explored 27 countries; however, I have been in transit in, and therefore on the soil of, three more countries - Turkey, Qatar and Dubai - technically taking me up to 30.

I’ve been to:

Australia. Austria. Belgium. Croatia. Cuba. Czechia. Denmark. England. France. Greece. Holy See. Hungary. Iceland. Indonesia. Ireland. Italy. Jamaica. Morocco. The Netherlands. Norway. Scotland. Singapore. Spain. Switzerland. Trinidad & Tobago. USA. Wales.

5. Buy a home ✅

Completed because of, and during, the pandemic - this was a HUGE deal for me. While I’ve been saving ‘for a rainy day’ every month since I got my first job - even if it was just putting £20 aside during tougher times - it wouldn’t have been achievable without the money I managed to save in the pandemic (working in Australia with the better wages, then working from home in the UK for all bar four months), and buying the property with my boyfriend. No pic for this entry though, because I’ve watched too many True Crime documentaries to put that out on the internet…

6. Live abroad ✅

Another pandemic-based activity, but it wasn’t meant to be one! I moved to Australia six weeks before everything properly kicked off. As a result, the ‘working holiday visa’ life (working, travelling, working, travelling) was not a possibility; so I lived like a regular resident in Sydney and the Blue Mountains. Read about my time there in the ‘Aussie Living’ section of my blog.

7. Experience Christmas in New York like my favourite festive films ❌

Been to New York, but in May! I will return at Christmas time one year…

8. Dance at a silent disco ❌

But I’m hoping to go to the one at the National History Museum this year - watch this space.

EDIT: Completed in 2024, just before my 31st birthday!

9. Go to a ballet or opera ✅

This entry was initially “see an opera at the Sydney Opera House”, but the pandemic thwarted that plan: the Sydney Opera House was closed for almost the entirety of the time I lived in the city (yes, how I kicked myself for not going in my first six weeks!) Instead, I went to see The Nutcracker at Christmas, here in the UK.

10. Experience a lantern festival ✅

I’d imagined this to be in an Asian country, but again, after two years away from international travel, this was pretty unachievable; so instead, I will honour the gorgeous lantern celebrations I’ve been to over the years, such as that at Chiswick House and the Lumineer London Light Festival.

11. Start towards my dream of writing copy for greeting cards ✅

Cards Inclusive, third row down

Forget just starting towards my dream; I launched my very own greeting card company, Cards Inclusive! The idea was borne during a Covid lockdown in the Blue Mountains, April 2020, and I officially launched it with two artists in October 2020. Since then, there have been many ups and downs, and a LOT of learning, and I’m so proud of my small business.

12. Go to an official sports game ✅

Completed at the London Lions vs Cheshire Phoenix quarter-final of the British Basketball League cup. With the level of basketball, music, half time entertainment, and cheerleaders, it felt like I was in the US!

13. Visit the fairytale town of Colmar in Alsace ✅

After stumbling across pics of Colmar at work once, I wanted to visit it ever since!

14. Learn how to swim properly ❌

Made a little progress with this in Singapore, but gonna book some proper swimming lessons this year to really tick this off. t

EDIT: started swimming lessons just two weeks after my 30th birthday, and now can do front crawl, breast stroke, and back stroke! Both a width and a length were achieved before 31st birthday.

15. Donate blood ✅

Completed on Easter Sunday 2023. I've wanted to give blood for the longest while and it felt good to be doing something that could potentially save someone's life, more so on a poignant day like Easter Sunday. The act of giving blood itself was absolutely fine - a pinprick to test iron levels and the needle going in like at a blood test - and you just chill and wiggle your legs for 5-10 mins. The pinprick was the most strenious of it all. Do make sure you have enough water and something sugary to hand; I did start to faint when I got up too quickly after the donation was complete, but it was nothing a little water and a KitKat couldn't fix. The staff were all so friendly and lovely, and next time, donation will be even quicker as they have all my history and details now.

16. Make a meal using spices and vegetables I’ve grown myself ✅

In Spring 2022, I started growing some of my own veg and herbs. I realise how many of those I chose to grow at different times and at different rates, so getting a meal with all of them would prove difficult. However, I have instead made lots of different meals with the various things I’ve grown. From a paella using the thyme I grew to home-grown rosemary on potatoes in a roast dinner. Pictured is a salmon stirfry, made using spring onions and mangetout I grew.

17. Eat at Dans le Noir✅

Completed in March 2023. I wanted to eat at this restaurant - where you’re in complete pitch black - since before this list was even conceived. Finally, about 14 years later, I finally had a two-course meal here. There’s no photo to accompany this entry as you can’t take in anything that causes light pollution. It was such a unique experience; at first, I found the sound in the pitch black rather overwhelming, but once the table to our right left the space, it was so much more enjoyable.

The food was actually very tasty (I thought it may not be and you were paying for the gimmick, but I was wrong!) and the whole experience of eating in the pitch back was humbling. I definitely regressed back to ‘baby’s first solid foods’ in my approach! I was in complete awe of our blind waiters and waitresses who moved around the space with ease.

18. Visit Iceland ✅

Iceland is genuinely one of the most beautiful, other-worldly places I’ve ever visited. Also, the coldest, because my two friends and I decided to go in January, when the sun doesn’t even rise until about 10.30am. My (wet) hair froze at one point.

19. Be in two places at once ☑️

When I originally made this list, I envisioned standing across two country borders. Instead, I headed to Greenwich to stand either side of the Meridian line - the centre of GMT time!

20. Start driving again ✅

I passed my driving test, aged 19… then didn’t drive ever again. I literally stepped out of the test car and didn’t drive for about 8 years. I couldn’t afford a car at uni, then after uni, moved into central London. Who is driving there? Taxis and then Ubers, that’s who.

However, after a little stop-start in 2021/2022, I consistently took five refresher lessons and practised with my partner, and finally, nearly 9 years to the day after passing my test, I drove with no one else in the passenger seat for the first time. Music on, sun out, I felt FREE. I’m committed to keeping driving now.

21. Go camping✅

In 2016, I put up my first ever tent (along with a friend) and stayed two nights in said tent at the Isle Of Wight Festival. Far from my usual home comforts - I’m a shower before bed kinda gal - I was surprised: I LOVED IT.

22. Go on a road trip✅

I have been a passenger princess on many long drives, heading for another town or city. Jervis Bay, Hunter Valley and Cowra, all in Oz; Edinburgh and Cornwall here in the UK. Snacks galore, singing, and a nap on the way back…

23. Complete couch to 5k ✅

Brighton 10k, April 2022

Just six weeks after moving to Australia, the pandemic and Covid regulations kicked off. Being told we were told not to mingle with people outside our circle was pretty isolating, when I'd just moved to a brand-new country and was yet to forge a circle outside my home. However, running was one thing I felt empowered to do on my own - where no one could see my slow pace! I’d literally never run in my adult life, and would always try and avoid it at school, so I found the couch to 5k extremely tough. After sticking with it, I was able to run 5k (with stops) just before I returned to the UK, then I leisurely kept it up. As of April 2022, I ran a 10k with no stops (though some fast walking)! This is something I never, ever imagined my body and little asthmatic lungs to be capable of, and I am immensely proud of my achievement.

24. Learn how to cook two of my favourite foods: roti and fried chicken ✅

Two very separate, but very tasty foods. I learned to make these on separate occasions, and while I’m still finessing my approach, I can do them!

25. Go on a hot air balloon ride ✅

Completed in the Hunter Valley, Australia.

26. Take part in a carnival in full costume ✅

Completed at Notting Hill Carnival, the biggest street carnival in Europe, by a package from Colours Carnival.

27. Do an ancestry test ✅

I’ve always classed myself as ‘mixed-other’ on forms. Three of my grandparents are from Trinidad, and one of my grandparents from England. My parents and I were born in England. However, within that, I knew there were Indian, Chinese and African influences too, just a couple more generations back. When I say I was not prepared for what came back from this, haha, I had to Google where some of the countries were! I have ancestors from every continent apart from Oceania, and the biggest country percentages in my heritage are Indian and Irish.

28. Ride a horse on the beach ✅

Completed in Byron Bay, Australia. We watched the sunrise, and saw a rainbow too; it was magical. A few weeks before, I rode a camel on the beach in Port Stephens, and it was one of my most favourite days in my life.

29. See Britney Spears live ✅

I’ve loved Britney Spears since age 5, avidly watching my ‘behind the scenes with Britney Spears’ VHS on repeat, and playing with my Britney Barbie, which sang Oops! I Did It Again when you pressed her belly button. Fast forward a couple of decades, and I got to see her live at Wembley. We now know she was forced by those in her conservatorship to do this tour, which does tarnish it a little.

30. Do a French language exchange ☑️

So, I’ve given this a tick, but a different colour, as it was achieved in a roundabout way. Like a few others on this list, the regulations as a result of the pandemic thwarted the full use of the nine/ten years to achieve these plans. I had wanted to go to France for a few weeks or months, live with a group of French people or a French family, and truly immerse myself in the French culture to improve my language skills. Unfortunately, there’s just not been the right time to do it. However, on my trip to Colmar, there were very few British tourists, and where I was staying, a little outside of the centre, there weren't many tourists full stop. I had to use my very basic French skills, hand gestures and the patience of the people I was speaking to convey what I was trying to say. Even in three days, my vocabulary expanded and my pronunciation of regularly used words improved.

As adults, should we be judged on our teenage social media habits?

Image: from BBC

Piczo. Bebo. MySpace. Thirteen-year-old me loved curating pages, choosing songs and painstakingly refining my ‘top nine’ – there was an outcry in our friend group when one girl placed her MSN boyfriend above us. Like, how dare she? A little later, Facebook joined the ranks and we’d have cryptic conversations right there on the public wall, which over a decade later, leave me cringing when they pop up on the Memories feature.

Embarrassing comments are one thing, but what about when what we had to say as teens was a little more problematic? We put words and opinions out there for all the world to see, sometimes without truly understanding their gravity.

“Sometimes opinions can come from ignorance, immaturity and the environment you’re in at the time,” said Taran, 24. 

Rosie, 26, added: “I am sure I said some things when I was a teenager that I absolutely in a million years wouldn’t say now, but that comes with age, worldliness and learning.”   

Well, the world is listening to what we had to say then and what we have to say now. We are coming to a point where those who came of age as social media boomed are in their late 20s and early 30s. We are arguably under far more scrutiny, especially when it comes to being hirable than the generation before us, who started using these platforms as adults and can take more responsibility for the views they expressed.

Ironically, with this topic, I published a poll on Instagram Stories asking my peers what they thought about their social media use as teens. We reminisced about MySpace, Bebo, Twitter, Friendster, HI5 and Facebook, and while the majority stated their posts were just cringy looking back, a few stated that they worried some of their comments back then could be considered offensive.

“There were some inappropriate statuses on MSN,” said Ian, 32.  

Elle, 29, spoke about private conversations on the public Facebook wall, while another mentioned ‘rate my girls’ – where you’d ask others to rate your friends on their looks. 

“We had ‘frapes’ – Facebook rapes  – people getting into my Facebook and posting things without my knowing. Some of them were awful,” added Rosie. “I remember being embarrassed at the time, but everyone was doing it to everyone.”

Are private pages the way forward?

Last month, Alexi McCammond, 27, the newly hired editor-in-chief of Teen Vogue, faced backlash, and eventually resigned, over anti-Asian tweets she had written aged 17. While 17 may be considered culpable in some countries, in the UK and US, she was a minor. 

Although 85% of respondents answered no to whether we should be judged as adults on our teenage social media comments, many added a disclaimer, citing racism, homophobia and extremism as instances where it was okay to take into consideration as an adult.

Emily, 25, said: “If a post is homophobic or racist, it’s clear that what is being posted will cause offence [even it’s not intended for the whole world to see].”  

Cat, 34, said: “I don’t believe we should judge others, but when we do, it is [often] when change hasn’t happened,” to which Taran added, “Certain things can be unlearned, but some things are part of someone’s character and don’t change.”

This month, a 22-year-old policeman was struck off for his alliance with a neo-Nazi group, which he joined aged 17. His association came to light due to his appearance in a 2017 promotional video, among other investigations. However, there are many instances of older people in positions of power – policemen, politicians, public figures – who have held these despicable opinions, but worked their way up as there was no public forum in which they expressed these views. 

Should our past be so defining of our future? Does this provide an unfair disadvantage to young people today, or is it a good thing that we can start weeding out these behaviours as new generations fulfil these roles? 

“I feel like the choices we make bring us to where we are today,” mused Nur, 27.  

Image from brendangahan.com

Maria, 26, commented that in retrospect, she didn’t think [social media] was a safe space for teenagers. However, in 2021, social media has become part and parcel of daily life, but perhaps teens a lot more clued up than we were at its conception. We didn’t really see how things would develop over the next 15 years. 

“I’m smart with what I post and know that once you post something, it stays on the internet forever,” said Renée, 14. 

“[In fact], we see social media as the new way to make money. [Rather than] talk about being ‘influencers’, we use social media to brand ourselves.” 

Renée is right. Countless young people have used social media to their advantage, building careers through exposure and smart branding. TV personality Molly-Mae Hague is currently worth over £2 million (April 2021), having become a brand ambassador and launching her own tanning company, while rapper KSI used his YouTube hobby to gain momentum and catapult him into a successful music career.  

Perhaps there isn’t a clear answer for us millennials; this is just another round to job interviews and character judgements that come with the day and age. Generation X had their own stumbling blocks to work against, and Gen Z will probably have something we’ve not even dreamt up yet. 

Three generations take a look at life in their 20s

2020 is more than just “coronavirus year”. It marked a new decade in its twenties, a time that this blog usually celebrates. Hey, it’s in the name! To positively mark this year, I interviewed my mum and my grandma, and narrate myself, shining a light on what being a woman in her 20s was, and is, like across three generations.

While society and technology have both changed in the 60-odd years between my grandma and I, when you take it back to the bare bones, the four pillars of work, love, friendship and travel, has much changed?

Please note: These are solely the experiences and opinions of three individuals.

Work

In my line of work, free work - or internships - are essential to get anywhere. Aged 20-21, I completed many, before starting my ‘proper’ career at 21. I’ve had multiple permanent and freelance roles across three countries since, the only gaps in my CV are this year, and in my two most ‘formative’ jobs - the ones I stuck with for two to three years - I had a great set of friends. Sometimes the lines of ‘work’ and ‘social’ blurred, but in my opinion, it created a more positive work environment, encouraging me to actually come in every day, even when the work itself became less riveting. My Grandma had a similar experience:

“Work was the social life - and it was nice! You met people, you chat, you had friends - work was a happy place. You only went home to eat and sleep.”

My Grandma worked in Trinidad, Canada and then England in her 20s, working as a secretary, did odd jobs like marking papers, then became a teacher.

In my mum’s 20s, she worked in retail, catering, a travel agency, telesales adverting, advertising in newspapers (and then, in her 30s became a midwife, followed by a health visitor - read more about why it’s okay to change your career). She said:

“It was relatively easy [to get a job] as jobs were plentiful for qualified and unqualified 20-somethings. For one job, when I was 22, the interview was challenging as I was put through scenarios and on the phone, telesales role plays, as well as a panel of interviewers.”

These days, the interview process is pretty relentless! You’re put through what feels like a billion interview stages, multiple forms and tasks, and sometimes, that’s even before the employer has even looked at your CV or covering letter. There’s many a tactical hiring and false promises made too, but that’s just the nature of it these days. In my experience, my first-class degree and specialist diploma has got me some places, but more often than not, it’s been my previous experience and this blog, coupled with the way I present myself at interview stage (if I got there). During job hunts, I’ve sent out anywhere from 70 to 130+ applications. Grandma added:

“It was very easy [back in my day]; it was nothing like today - one interview, sometimes just a chat and that was that. Who you knew helped you get in too. I had good qualifications and came from a good family and one of the best schools; in one of my jobs, I promoted within a month of being there.”

Grandma reiterated that hard work was essential, but she quipped something I loved the sound of, that took place years later (in her 30s - but it’s so lovely, I had to include it in this piece):

“On lunch breaks, I would head down to Tottenham Court Road, meet your Grandad and have a dance. Then we’d head back to work.”

And, in terms of gender equality? Grandma said:

“Because of my background and education - and because I was a bit pushy - I never felt gender inequality. When they saw I was doing my thing, they didn't mind. I was one of very few non-white women, and in one of my roles, I was the only woman on the floor.”

My mum said:

“I managed to match my male peers in the workplace at that time. We were treated equally and, in sales, everyone had a fair chance to hit targets and earn money. In my later years, in a gendered profession, I find there is a difference in my experience - specifically in nursing and midwifery - men [seem to] access senior management roles and get promoted quicker than women.”

Love & dating

My mum in her 20s

Dating has changed drastically over the years - even in the noughties alone. In the last two decades, meeting a new partner has gone from chance meetings and blind date setups, to dating websites, now to apps where you can swipe on 50+ potential partners in less than a minute (depending how much time you’re spending actually scrutinising the profiles). And, there’s one thing for sure these days: you really have to weed out who is there to date and who is there for a quick something else… Dates can be anything from a picnic to dinner, to drinks, to the very millennial activity of mini-golf.

During my dating experience, I met men in a range of ways. There have been a few from apps, a few from nightclubs, one or two I worked with. I prefer a chance meeting or meeting through friends, which is how I met my current partner.

My mum mused:

“I don't understand dating these days: I know people tend to look for dates online and on apps, but I’m quite old fashioned and prefer to meet people at work or in my social groups. That way, we already have something in common and I can vet people with my intuition and can see how they react to others and in certain situations. I feel dating apps just list attributes, which is just that: a list. If I were in my 20s now, I would probably be single as I wouldn't use dating apps!”

My mum met her first properly serious partner at 20, introduced by a mutual friend, and got married just before her 24th birthday. I find that incredibly young to be making such a commitment to relationship, and she also agrees.

In terms of what dating was like, my mum mentioned going to the cinema, parties and dancing in clubs, as well as visiting parks and leisure parks.

Grandma was a bit more reserved when talking about this subject - perhaps a sign of the times.

“I had friends who were boys mainly - but I was quite boyish. We'd ride bikes, do lessons, especially languages. I had one or two special ones, but we were just friends, walking and going to church. “

She also mentioned how she was sent letters (“lovely, lovely letters”) and they went for dances. She also laughed that “[she] didn't really stay in one place long enough!” in her 20s.

Friendship

My Grandma

I am very fortunate to have formed a few core friendship groups, with people I met at uni, work, or in my longest friend’s case, at secondary school. Thanks to my travels, I also have some really good friends in many places outside of the UK too. It’s nice; I always feel I have someone I can reach out to, laugh with, just relax with. I’ve been on holiday with a fair few of my friends, had wild nights out, enjoyed relaxed meals, cook-offs and games nights. Living in Australia, I really relied on some of these friendships, especially when I felt lonely, 10500 miles away from all familiarity.

Grandma reflected on her friendships in Canada, telling me how she was a little older than the others at university, but she made great friendships, going to night classes, studying together, going to church, and even little trips, for example, to Montreal. They would also go to the cinema or university shows.

My mum noted how her friendship groups have changed throughout her life - from college to colleagues university to spiritual groups and mummy groups - and they were often groups of four or five. However, there are still many she keeps in contact with, especially through social media.

“I did all sorts of things with my friends, from going out and socialising at clubs, pubs and parties, cinema, concerts, later mum and baby groups, cafes, restaurants…”

Travelling

Well, this whole website is mostly based on my travels, so it’s clear I do it in my 20s, hey. How I travel changes dependent on the country; either I travel with friends, on my own, or join a tour. The beauty of having friends all over is that I often fly on my own, but have someone meeting me and being with me in the country I am exploring. In my 20s, I am open to talking to strangers (within reason) and making friends abroad too - something I had to do when I moved to Australia.

I initially travelled in Europe, but with travel tours and companies like STA (RIP), you can put a deposit down and pay closer to the time, meaning the countries that 20-somethings (and their bank balances) have access to has vastly expanded. My tours around Cuba and Morocco were both incredible, and something I’d have been unable to do without this style of travel.

More often than not, budget plays heavily on my mind when booking a trip. Also, I live by a budget, so that I can travel the amount that I do. One day, I would like to choose outlandish AirBnbs without looking at the price, or not just opt for ‘Standard room’ - but this will all come. I know I am very lucky to be able to travel as I do right now.

Like me, Grandma’s experience in her 20s was less about travelling glamorously and rather about adventure (though she would have many a luxury travel experience during the next stage of her life, as my Grandad worked for an airline).

“[My friends and I] went by car from Toronto to Florida and stayed a week. One night, we slept on the beach. The police came and told us we couldn't sleep there, so we went to get a caravan and we went around in that instead! Sleeping under the stars, sleeping under the trees - people never bothered us then.”

On another occasion, with a different friend, they went from Nova Scotia to Toronto, and her friend smuggled her dog on the coach. She recalled:

“Two bush pilots were looking for someone, and they thought we were hiding something - they bought us breakfast, when they realised it was a dog!”

My mum’s travels were often in the UK, like Manchester and Wales, and in Europe, travelling with her best friend or her partner.

“Travelling to Nerja, Spain, when I was 22 was my favourite from that decade. We rented motorbikes - it was fun! Back then, we had the money at that age, unlike today.”

When you take away societal views and technology, there aren’t many stark differences between my mum’s, my grandma’s and my experiences in our twenties, apart from dating; the other three pillars have many similarities. This could be down to the fact we are all from the same family, but we had quite different upbringings (particularly in the case of my Grandma who was born and grew up in Trinidad).

Whatever the reasons, I hope this article shows that whatever your age and differences, there are always shared experiences you can bond over, especially this year when we may feel further away from people than we’d like, be it physically or mentally.

An open letter about everyday racism

How do you define differences in race? Is it where you were born? The culture you identify most with? The literal colour of your skin: black, white or brown?

Have you ever uttered “Where are you really from?” when you got an answer that was more ‘white’ than you expected to your “Where are you from?” question?

The motivation behind this question isn’t always spiteful, but is an example of everyday racism people are talking about all over social media right now. Everyday racism, everyday sexism, everyday things that perpetuate the belief that one type of person is better than another is harmful. One comment here, one comment there might seem harmless, but it adds another ounce to a problem being experienced worldwide. There’s a distinct difference between tongue-in-cheek jokes and a joke that isn’t really a joke.

Many people had opinions on Australia’s attitudes to people of colour when I moved here. I live in one of the country’s main cities, so I don’t feel any kind of way being here at all. That said, this two-minute exchange from months ago still sits awkwardly with me: as I was walking out of Kmart, the customer assistant by the door asked to look inside my bag. I complied, but asked her why. She replied not to worry, but I pressed and she got flustered, red and apologised, but still gave no reason. She looked 19 at most, and very embarrassed, so I left it. Some of you may question whether it was about race, in fact, I did too, at first; as someone who has had quite an English upbringing, it is admittedly not often my first thought. In the first draft of this article, I listed a paragraph of reasons validating why she had no other reason to stop me, but they are dead words, because I know my brown skin is why she wanted to see inside my bag.

This experience doesn’t affect how I feel about shopping and it was an isolated incident for me, but I have many peers for whom this isn’t. To them, this isn’t even a big thing, because it’s N.O.R.M.A.L. How many of you can say this? Now, think why or why not.

I could write a whole essay on media representation of people of colour, and have for many a coursework over the years, but I’ll keep it to a few sentences for the purposes of this piece. Media representation and journalism are huge passions of mine, and bias is unavoidable, but just watch what you’re reading. To the untrained eye, the words in articles may seem harmless, but for even those sources I would deem reliable, you need to have your wits about you: for example, often more negative adjectives are being used to describe the protesters compared to the police in coverage of America’s protests right now.

What is my purpose in writing this piece? I have loved ones who are far more qualified to talk on this subject than I am, to whom this cause strikes even closer, who have countless first-hand experiences. However, I want to show that this affects ALL people of colour, even your most Anglo-cised friends, housemates and drinking pals. Don’t be “faux woke”: join the global conversation that shouldn’t stop for years to come until equality is actually achieved, and do your best to keep actively learning about the inequality and how we can change it.

Image by: @krisstraub

Five tips for managing a long-distance relationship

Romantic relationships can face many obstacles: other people’s opinions, the amount of time you can dedicate to one another, and sometimes, like for me, 10,500-odd miles between the two of you - yup, home is farrrrr from Sydney. However, in the current times of Coronavirus, if you’re following the UK government advice, it may be a lot smaller a distance and can be just as an adaption.

Whether your love story began in the ‘traditional’ sense – face to face – or blossomed online, long-distance relationships can be pretty tough, but here are a few things you can do to give your partnership the best chance of going the distance (pun intended).

Good old-fashioned mail

Long-distance relationships aren’t a new thing; in history, many star-crossed lovers were torn apart by distance, be it for military, family, or other reasons. Our forefathers and mothers survived, so take inspiration and get down the postie pronto! There is something about receiving a handwritten note, postcard or surprise flowers that feels more personal than its virtual counterparts, and it’s a nice way to give your other half an unexpected pick-me-up, letting them know you are thinking of them.

Make use of technology

However, unlike previous generations, we are lucky to have a plethora of technology and instant communication devices to hand. Phone calls, video calls and voice notes are all great ways to replicate normal face-to-face conversation. Make shared Spotify playlists with songs reminiscent of times you’ve spent together. You can even take it a step further and set up virtual dates, such as watching the same film or having a meal simultaneously, or going to a similar place in your respective town or country (once this epidemic is over, of course). The butterflies will come and sparks will fly as they do on normal face-to-face dates.

In a trusting, consensual relationship, there is no need to let that other spark go either, thanks to technology. Just be sure you’re totally comfortable and fully trust your partner, because as many Hollywood scandals have shown, once photos, videos or messages are out there, they are out there.

Rely on the other person

Being in a relationship means you are a partnership, and this shouldn’t change just because you’re apart. It feels good to know your boyfriend or girlfriend values your opinion, so ask their advice on issues and unload the mundane thoughts too, just as you would if you were cuddled at the end of the day. What’s more, you can approach big decisions as a couple, bringing your individual experiences and outlooks together to make an informed choice.

Try not to compare

This can be easier said than done, especially if you’re surrounded by loved-up couples day-to-day. It can sometimes be even harder when your relationship started as non-long-distance, and these other couples conjure up memories of your easier times. However, just as if your partner was with you day-to-day, every couple is different and you can’t always see the obstacles other couples are facing behind closed doors. And remember, your relationship may even end up stronger for having had this test that many couples don’t face. Moreover, while daily communication may work for some long-distance couples, a long weekly video call may be more your bag.  

Have an end goal

This one can be a little harder in some cases, more so now than ever in this uncertain time, but where possible, try and have a date in mind for when you can next be together in person. This could be your next couple’s holiday, when you’ll next visit one another, or when you’ll finally move to the same place. This gives you both a focus and makes the struggles of a long-distance relationship seem less permanent; hardships are a lot easier to weather when you know they’re not forever.  

Living abroad in the Coronavirus pandemic

Part 1: The start of the pandemic, written March 2020

I first and foremost write content for this website, so I can look back at a trip, or trips, and remember little details I may otherwise forget (but as it’s in the public forum, I use angles so others can learn and perhaps laugh when they read it too); the Coronavirus, as unforgettable as it will be, is a big part of my Sydney journey. I hope my comments are not seen to diminish the catastrophic effect this virus has had on many families’ and individuals’ lives.    

We are having different experiences

I am living under different government recommendations to those in the UK. This is something I didn’t really realise until a discussion with my boyfriend as to why I was still making plans at a time where, back in the UK, everyone had started social distancing. I am currently due to start working from home next week, while everyone back home is already a week or more into their home offices. Of course, our food situations are the same, but a week ago, I could still stock up on hand-gel from Chemist Warehouse.

EDIT: The situation is changing so rapidly; all comments were accurate at the time of publication.

It feels weird being so far from my loved ones

It does feel really strange that I am 10,500 miles away from home, with my only viable mode of transport uncertain. In fact, it is making me a little anxious when I read that this lockdown could continue for some time to come, which leaves my plans to return home at the end of the year up in the air… unfortunately, not literally. However, for anyone else also in my position, it is essential to remember that this would be just as weird a situation if we were at home.

It’s not always selfish to venture outdoors…

… but follow government guidelines and take precautions. None of these casual park picnics. Everyone is preaching to be kind in the supermarket (as they should be), then throwing around the word “selfish” all over Instagram in relation to people who aren’t completely indoors. It is worth remembering that mental health is just as delicate as physical health, especially in this time of panic. Many of you are holed up in your home sweet homes, with your partners, pets, parents, kids – not everyone has this luxury.

The thought of being pretty much a recluse has me feeling suffocated already, more so that I sacrificed and saved a lot to live in Australia for 2020. As minor as it is in comparison to other issues right now, like actual deaths, it is something I think about. Many others are facing uncertainties in their job, career progression, life and relationships, and some have even experienced deaths in their close circle as a result of this epidemic, so be kind.

There are ways to make the most of this isolated time

Now is the time to get on your phone, fire up that Skype account, and make the most of technology. Phone your grandparents, video call your mum, text that old friend you’ve been meaning to contact for ages, host a weekly quiz with your old work team (just me? Okay). You can even go old school and get writing letters – you’ll have to go down the post office/to the post box though – a nice little surprise for your recipient.

Also, take the time to get out of your routine and come refocused for work; don’t get lazy with working from home. I started a new job this week in a brand-new industry, and I am conscious of proving myself. Remember, businesses are suffering are as a result of Coronavirus, so if you want to stay employed, you may need to prove yourself invaluable.

On the other hand, when else are you going to have this much time at home? Bake a cake, get sewing, relax in those hours you’re not required to work. We are all in this situation - albeit having different experiences, of course - so try and find that silver lining of this very grey cloud for you.

Closing word

Firstly, don’t panic. Fear breeds fear, and this is how false information spreads. Worrying about the situation will not make it any better or worse, so try to take a break from the news if you can, and focus on some lighter relief (easier said than done, I know). Remember, amidst the madness, this situation is bringing out the creativity in people, from live-streamed events to online gymming.

Secondly, I am a planner. I always have been and always will be. However, as my mum said, you can have the best-laid plans, but no one can control everything. This is life. 

Part 2: During the pandemic, written July 2020

We are still having different experiences

The experience here is totally different to that back home in the UK. Lockdown was far more strict in Australia, with tighter restrictions and MUCH bigger fines for breaking them. With this approach, we saw things opening up a lot sooner than in the UK. That said, Victoria has gone back into lockdown and there are threats to do the same to Sydney if the hotspots get out of control - it is winter, which potentially may be a factor.

Travel

Of course, the travel fallout was felt worldwide, however, there were more significant repercussions for those living abroad than for the regular holiday goer. In Australia, the borders were - and still are at the time of publication - closed to international travellers, meaning if non-permanent residents or citizens leave, they ain’t coming back in. For those like me, it meant making a decision: go home, marking the end of my visa, or stay. As I realised from the many ex-pat groups I am part of, most chose the first option. On the other hand, I chose to stay, thinking it just meant no travelling around the country for a bit.

At the time of publication, the only other state I can enter without paying $2,800 for government-mandated quarantine is Queensland (however this is looking a little dicey as our cases grow again). It does mean that I can’t visit a good half of what I wanted to see this year, however, I can still do breaks all across NSW, if I get behind the wheel or have someone drive me; Greyhound buses, which are a great way to see the country without a car, have been suspended out of Sydney (excluding Canberra), URGH. You know me though, where there is a will, there is a way - I’m going to see as much as I can!!

However, there was one significant repercussion I didn’t foresee that has had a rather large impact: I do not have the option to go home for a visit (without forfeiting the rest of my visa), or have any home visitors. I would love nothing more than to have one of these two options, particularly in my low periods.

Making new friends

On arrival in a new country, the easiest way to make friends is to post in Facebook groups or meet friends of friends at gatherings. However, these are both a lot harder (impossible in the strictest part of lockdown) during the pandemic. As mentioned above, many ex-pats went back to the UK, so even as lockdown eases, the pool of people in the Facebook groups is a lot smaller, and overall, people are currently a lot warier about meeting up with total strangers.

Work

I am so grateful to have secured a great job before lockdown; had I not, I would have definitely had to return home very soon after arriving. Unfortunately, it was this same sword that saw the early end of my contract; the coronavirus affected the work environment and the work opportunities for both ex-pats and Australians alike. Of course, everyone is working from home, which has its positives and negatives: hello lay-ins, but goodbye colleagues. I personally have enjoyed working from home - how ever am I going to adapt to office life again?!

In the last few months, the job market plummeted here, much like at home, and many lost their jobs. Given how hard it was to secure a job prior to lockdown, it is unlikely I will secure another, so I am going to save save save to enjoy the rest of my time here.

Sometimes simple pleasures are the best

Simple pleasures have seen a comeback, thanks to lockdown - the silver lining, hey. Back home, I know my family have been cooking up a storm and getting into gardening, while down in the southern hemisphere, I’ve been enjoying the flexibility of going for a walk or run in my lunch break, as well as cross-stitching. Oh, and wearing leggings all day, every day. Now, that is a habit I’m going to have problems unlearning once this pandemic is totally over…

Are you living abroad during this pandemic? I’d love to hear your story - get in touch!

My favourite places in the world

Whenever I talk about my passion for travelling and seeing the world, the same question comes up time and time again: what is the best country you've been to? I always falter and I'm pretty sure it makes people think I'm making up my anecdotes as I'm going along - I'm not, promise!

Having now passed the halfway mark of my 20s (sob) and on the trajectory to being ‘thirties in transit’, I've finally come up with an answer for the question. I realise that it actually depends on different things and, if the asker is seeking recommendations, what they're after too.

For the food: Morocco

A far cry from just couscous and tagines, Morocco's dishes are packed with such incredible flavour. At home, you'll never see me order a salad when I'm out (though I'm a sucker for the salad buffet at Harvester lololol), but here I couldn't get enough! From roasted, and of course, seasoned, eggplant to salsa-style tomatoes, every vegetable was prepared in the most mouthwatering way. My favourite dish of the trip was a bean soup in Chefchaouen, with added olive oil - it tasted like a bowl of houmous but 10 times better.

For the people: Cuba

I still cannot get over the sheer kindness of the locals in Cuba. By their own admission (well, by my tour guides admission), they live a simple life, yet provide such a warmth in their personalities. On my first day, my bank card didn't work, meaning I was stranded with no local currency, and the host of our casa particular in Havana (as well as my parents and a couple fellow travellers) went out of his way to help me sort it, even providing Wi-Fi for free after the quota had timed out. Our second host in Vinales, who I took to calling Tia, was just as lovely, creating huge breakfast spreads each morning and chatting with us for ages despite our minimal vocabulary in each others' languages. In Playa Larga, the casa manager took the time to learn each of the group's names, addressing us by them whenever he needed us, despite us being there for less than 24 hours.

For the landscape: Iceland

Iceland is otherworldly in the winter; you feel as though you are on a different planet. The rugged white terrain stretches for miles and miles, especially when driving in the countryside. Þingvellir National Park boasts hot water springs and baths - in which my hair froze rock hard but I was as snug as a bug in a rug in the 36-degree water - while watching huge shards of ice float down Jokulsarlon Lagoon or standing tall, glimmering and contrasting with the black lava sands of Diamond Beach, really is breathtaking.

For some history: Italy

Italy is unrivalled in its historic sites. Rome is the UNESCO World Heritage site that obviously springs to mind first, with the Colosseum (one of the New Seven Wonders of the World), Pantheon and Trevi Fountain all within walking distance of each other, but all over the boot you'll find notable sites or hidden historical gems in the form of churches, piazzas and more. I took time to accidentally-on-purpose get lost within the cobbled alleyways of Venice, admire the castles of Naples' bay (the mussels were to die for, FYI), wander around the arena in Verona, and gawp at Milan's Duomo, and these have stuck with me.

For the beach: Croatia, Australia and Cuba

To be honest, I can't choose one particular trip for this; I've been to quite a few beaches - especially for a Londoner - and they each differ. The paradisaical white-sand beach of Cayo Levisa in Cuba was gorgeous, yet I was positively surprised at the beauty of the rocky beaches in Hvar too. Australia, thanks to its varied terrains, offers a range of different beaches, best enjoyed on a coastal walk, for example, Bondi to Coogee, and Manly to the Spit.

Go on, where are your favourite places?

Behind the UK's doors: Christmas traditions

Anyone who knows me knows I love Christmas. My flatmates and colleagues have definitely had to put up with this little elf for a lot longer than they’d have expected - festive playlists are fine to blast from early November, right? From the music and food to the religious traditions and decorations, it is something that, for a month (or, in my case, more), everyone and everything gets involved in - in many places, there is a real sense of community. 

The UK is so diverse - over 300 languages are spoken in the capital alone, according to government statistics) - so while on first glance, it may seem we follow the same quintessentially British traditions year in, year out, behind our closed doors, there's a hell of a lot more going on in this multi-cultural country. 

My Christmas

In our house, Christmas Day starts like many other households in the UK. We wake up early to open the presents my youngest brother has sorted into piles, devour a fry up, then retreat to our rooms, or the sofa, for a nap. The day ends in similar familiar fashion to many of you reading this, with the Christmas episode of EastEnders and a bottle of Baileys or Port floating about. However, it's the middle bit that has some added flavour where we're concerned. Alongside the dulcet tones of Mariah and Buble, Parang music blasts out and our table sees pastelles, stew chicken and rice amidst the pigs in blankets, turkey and roasties. 

Behind other doors…

Elle, 27

“The sheer amount of people involved [in our Christmas]… it’s literally a game of how many Greeks can we fit in one house. After church in the morning, we come home and wait for the whole family to pile in - it’s usually around 20 to 30 people, sometimes more. We then have a bowl of soup, either avgolemoni (egg, lemon, chicken, and rice soup) or drahana (crushed wheat soup). We also play a Greek card game called gounga with my grandparents, which is basically Gin Rummy, but with more cards, and my bapou (grandad) is the master!” 

Christina, 21

“We celebrate according to the old religious calendar, on the 6th January. We have a 12-course Christmas dinner, each dish representing a disciple, so there is lots and lots of food! Traditionally, you start eating dinner when the first star appears in the sky that evening, but we always end up starting much sooner… There’s always a bush of wheat in the room where we eat dinner, too, which represents the people who have died.”

Fabio, 30

“Back at home [in Ecuador], we celebrate Christmas on 24th with all the family round, opening presents after dinner. However, when I am here, I have a very British Christmas. I like to have Latin music on in the background when I cook though!”

Eleni, 27

“When I was younger, my parents would always take all our presents over to my gran's on Christmas Eve, and we'd stay there the night and open them the next day - that's something I plan on doing with my kids, too. My gran would always make this sauce that was way too runny, but we'd love it because that was her way of making it!”

Nirvana, 30

“We drive to a farm to get our Christmas tree and meet with the other villagers on Christmas Eve to sing carols, and I make pepperpot a week in advance to eat with freshly baked bread on Christmas morning - a Guyanese tradition.”

A spotlight on side hustles: Photography

Images: Arron Watson-McNab (@facesplaceslaces)

"Choose a job you love, and you'll never have to work a day in your life."  We've all heard that saying, right? Well, Confucius, it ain't always that easy. We may not have known what we love back when we were studying, sometimes you've gotta hella graft for ages before you can properly achieve what you love, and sometimes what we love might have changed.

More and more, people aren't just doing their nine-to-fives, but also have a passion project - a side hustle, if you will - that they maintain in the hope of it becoming their main job in the future, so they achieve this elusive notion.

Arron Watson-McNab, 26, works full-time as a therapy assistant at a prestigious London hospital, as well as freelancing as a writer and photographer. His side hustle is photography - Faces, Places & Laces - while Dwain Caulker-Johnson, 25, is a part-time retail worker, whose passion is making music, under the stage name DeeWain. Amy Deeprose, or amybakesuk, 26, is a design engineer who uses her design knowledge in the cakes she bakes on the side. In a three-part series, I have quizzed them on how they manage their day-to-day jobs and maintain their side hustle, and how they hope to develop it in the future.

This week, Arron's up. Intrigued by the others, too? Then check out Dwain and Amy, as well.

How long have you been shooting images?

I got my first camera back in 2015, as a gift to capture my time spent working in America, but I would say it’s only been in the past year that I’ve started to take photography more seriously.

So, was that trip how you got into photography, then?

I've always been interested in photography, but never had the tools. While working in America, I found myself often going for strolls and taking photos of pretty much everything. This progressed to trying new angles, getting creative with my surroundings and learning about my camera to having a story or purpose behind some of my shots. From then, it just continued and I found a style, which my brand states neatly - Faces, Places & Laces. Alongside people I meet and places I go, my love for trainers found its way into my portfolio.

What motivates you to make time for your photography?

It’s like therapy for me. London is hectic at best of times and I have always searched for something to take me out of that madness. Holidays are great and I also meditate, but venturing out with headphones in and my camera in hand in my new favourite escape, especially as it speaks to the creative side of me.

How do you get your name out there?

Events, mostly. I am always looking out for cool events or attending galleries. I occasionally work in coffee shops, which has led me to meet some really fascinating people. Instagram is a great tool for photographers, as well, however, I much prefer connecting face to face. I will often stop people on the street for some of my projects and always meet really interesting people. Just this weekend, I met someone with their own brand looking for pictures, two club promoters who invited me down to shoot at their next event and an individual who was pretty well-connected in the sneaker scene. You never know where opportunities come from! Talk, share your stories and always have a business card on you.

What return do you see?

Personal satisfaction, mainly. I love the process of creating and seeing the outcome come out how I pictured it - it is always very pleasing. Financial gain is, of course, always a benefit, but the opportunities that have presented themselves outweigh that significantly. I am grateful to be in a company that has given me the chance to shoot individuals that I have been following for years, then, in addition, have them complement or use my work. That feeling is great!

What challenges have you faced juggling the photography with your full- and part-time jobs?

It’s not finding the time, or it’s being motivated to use the time efficiently. After a long day at work, finding that energy and mindset to go and do a photoshoot, write, blog or find new opportunities, as well as general life - cook, clean, go to the gym, see friends - is hard to maintain. Opportunities have been missed, friends let down and there have been countless late nights and early mornings, but love for the craft gets me through.

Do you invest any of your own money into your venture?

Yes, always investing in my development and photography is an expensive hobby. I am very fortunate to have the support of friends and family who all recently contributed towards a new camera for my birthday. I will forever be grateful and stunned by the amount of backing I receive!

Do you consider your photography a business? 

I am beginning to. Previously, I just enjoyed the process and never believed my work was up to a standard to make a business out of…I still doubt it now. However, I have had some very kind words from individuals in a variety of industries that have provided me the confidence to see this as a business. People need photos, those photos make money, thus the creator of those photos needs compensation. Simples!

What is your long-term career goal?

Currently, I am pursuing two, it seems. Firstly, [I want to be] a photographer, although I’m not quite sure where exactly I picture myself as a photographer. I have a deep-lying love for music, so mixing my art with capturing the journey and progression of artists would be cool. Plus, I’m so fascinated by the process of art - how an idea is transformed into a song/drawing/[item of] clothing/building - so, that would be cool to capture.

Secondly, I've headed back to uni to do a masters in Physiotherapy this year. Long-term, I would love to work with elite athletes, possibly track their recovery from injury [to recovery] in a series of pictures… who knows.

What advice would you have for someone who wanted to turn their hobby into their job?

Enjoy the process of working hard on something you genuinely have a passion for and say yes to every opportunity available. Alongside this, depending on the hobby, there will be a stage where you’ll have to take a step back and study the business element of your craft. Just be prepared for it.

Check out Faces, Places & Laces today.

A spotlight on side hustles: Making music

Images: Arron Watson-McNab (@facesplaceslaces)

"Choose a job you love, and you'll never have to work a day in your life."  We've all heard that saying, right? Well, Confucius, it ain't always that easy. We may not have known what we love back when we were studying, sometimes you've gotta hella graft for ages before you can properly achieve what you love, and sometimes what we love might have changed.

More and more, people aren't just doing their nine-to-fives, but also have a passion project - a side hustle, if you will - that they maintain in the hope of it becoming their main job in the future, so they achieve this elusive notion.

Arron Watson-McNab, 26, works full-time as a therapy assistant at a prestigious London hospital, as well as freelancing as a writer and photographer. His side hustle is photography - Faces, Places, Laces - while Dwain Caulker-Johnson, 25, is a part-time retail worker, whose passion is making music, under the stage name DeeWain. Amy Deeprose, or amybakesuk, 26, is a design engineer who uses her design knowledge in the cakes she bakes on the side. In a three-part series, I have quizzed them on how they manage their day-to-day jobs and maintain their side hustle, and how they hope to develop it in the future.

This week, it's Dwain. Intrigued by the others, too? Then check out Amy and Arron, as well.

How long have you been making music?

It's always been a hobby of mine, but seriously, it's been eight years.

How did you get into it?

I've always had music in me. I played the piano when I was young and I use to sing, too, but I didn't really get into it properly until university, really. I performed at an open-mic in my first year. After that, people were telling me that I should do something with music, but honestly, I didn't know what to write about and I wasn't good. However, at uni, I'd gone through different experiences and the only way I could express [how I felt] was through music. I started from there and just kept studying my craft. Now, I've got so many things to write about because I've seen a lot. 

What motivates you to make time for it, though?

Just the fact that music is a universal language and that it enables me to relate to people that I've never met before. Words are powerful and people believe in them, so I have to put the medicine in the message because I know my lyrics can inspire people to do greater things.

What return do you see from your music?

For people to feel moved by the music, that's the biggest thing, really. If people are coming up to me and saying that one of my songs or projects affected them in a certain way, I've achieved my goal, to be honest. 

I'd love for that feeling to expand though, so I can build a following big enough to sell out arenas one day - the 02 is my main goal. The idea of performing in front of your own fans on a big stage is mind-blowing. 

What challenges have you faced so far? 

I heard Will Smith say in an interview, "the fight to remain positive is the toughest fight you'll have," and that is the biggest challenge in this industry; you literally have to give everything before you get any kind of result back. The hardest thing is to keep going knowing that you're putting your best foot forward, but you're being ignored - but you have to keep pushing. Self-belief is so key to all of this.

Not having money is frustrating, too, but I can't get too mad because I'm doing what I love. I always tell myself that as long as the music is good, that's all that matters; the rest will come.

Also, the music I make is quite unique to the rest of the urban scene, so I have to accept that not everyone is going to be used to my sound, which can be frustrating. But I'm happy my music is different and I can create my own lane.

Do you invest any of your own money into your venture? 

Yes. I only work part-time, so I can make more time to study my craft, record, shoot videos... but most of my paycheck goes into my music. 

Would you consider your music a business? 

Technically, yeah, I'm getting paid for performances now, so it's a business. But I'd love to get into the music business properly. I've got dreams of owning a label!

What is your long-term career goal?

To be known as an elite artist. A legend. I want to be known as the guy who came and shifted black British music culture and did it my way. I'm coming for everything. Awards. Big tours. Classic albums. Classic moments. Everything.  

What advice would you have for someone who wanted to turn their hobby into their job?

Stay focused, stay disciplined and stay positive. Have a plan and speak things into existence - I believe in the law of attraction and your thoughts becoming things.

In my field, Instagram is so useful, but the best way is to find your pocket and feed it. Keep releasing good music consistently as you never know who's listening. Use different media outlets too - in my genre, there's GRM, Link Up, and SBTV.

Get what you deserve from this earth, too, because no one is going to just give it to you. It's going to require a lot of sacrifices, but as long as you're making progress, that's all that matters. Let go and let God.

Check out DeeWain on Spotify today.

A spotlight on side hustles: Creating and baking

Images: Amy Deeprose (@amybakesuk)

"Choose a job you love, and you'll never have to work a day in your life."  We've all heard that saying, right? Well, Confucius, it ain't always that easy. We may not have known what we love back when we were studying, sometimes you've gotta hella graft for ages before you can properly achieve what you love, and sometimes what we love might have changed.

More and more, people aren't just doing their nine-to-fives, but also have a passion project - a side hustle, if you will - that they maintain in the hope of it becoming their main job in the future, so they achieve this elusive notion.

Arron Watson-McNab, 26, works full-time as a therapy assistant at a prestigious London hospital, as well as freelancing as a writer and photographer. His side hustle is photography - Faces, Places & Laces - while Dwain Caulker-Johnson, 25, is a part-time retail worker, whose passion is making music, under the stage name DeeWain. Amy Deeprose, or amybakesuk, 26, is a design engineer who uses her design knowledge in the cakes she bakes on the side. In a three-part series, I have quizzed them on how they manage their day-to-day jobs and maintain their side hustle, and how they hope to develop it in the future.

This week, it's Amy. Intrigued by the others, too? Then check out Arron and Dwain, as well.

How long have you been baking and how did you get into it?

It's been 10 years. During my college A-level exams, I began baking cakes and learning to decorate them as a means of stress relief from revision. Then, when the baking got too much, the revision seemed like a break, so it worked out quite well.

What motivates you to make time to bake, though?

Enjoyment, stress release, people wanting to eat cake… Also, it's a creative challenge!

Do you see any return from it?

At the moment, I have only been baking for friends and family, but this helps spread my reputation by word of mouth, so when I eventually start running it as a proper side-business, it will mean I have a larger portfolio to do so.

This is legit a cake!

What challenges have you faced maintaining your baking on the side?

Mainly time. Given that I work full-time, if I have a large cake - such as a wedding cake – I’ll have to take a day off work, or plan my schedule carefully, which can sometimes mean a full working day, followed by six hours an evening over a couple, or more, days baking and decorating for an event.

Also, creating content for social media can be a bit of a challenge; making cakes can cost money and isn't something that’s as quick as some people might imagine, so having new content is something that can be difficult.

Do you invest any of your own money into your venture?

Yes! On equipment mainly - though sometimes, I’m given a small sum of money towards consumables. However, I am usually giving my baked goods as presents. 

Do you consider your baking a business?

While I still feel I am learning, and don't have all my ducks in a row just yet, I feel it cannot be one. However, when I have decent enough portfolio and some qualifications under my belt, it definitely could be - many people have suggested it should!

What is your long-term career goal?

To run my own business part-time cake-making, alongside other business ventures, either in products or management.

What advice would you have for someone who wanted to turn their hobby into their job?

Have a loose plan for a transition period where your hobby won't be a business, but you can use that time to grow your network - it's here where you may invest a lot of your own money. Taking jobs for a small fee, or free, is often necessary, too. Also, the best people to start networking with are your friends and family, and it grows from there.

Definitely make sure you have [an adequate] cash-flow and a business plan that's adaptable, and remember, if you survive a year as an actual business, then that's a massive milestone!

Order an amybakesuk creation - or set her a baking challenge - today.

Leukaemia Awareness Month: Using grief for something positive

Images: Kerri Walter (@kerriwalterphotography)

Google defines Leukaemia as "a malignant progressive disease in which the bone marrow and other blood-forming organs produce increased numbers of immature or abnormal leukocytes. These suppress the production of normal blood cells, leading to anemia and other symptoms." In layman's terms, it is cancer of the blood where, as more cancer cells are produced, the body is less capable of making healthy white blood cells - the guys that help us fight infections.  

September is Leukaemia Awareness Month (referred to as Blood Cancer Awareness Month on this side of the pond) and, while it is all good and well knowing what Leukaemia is in theory, it is a disease that affects more than just the person's blood: on an emotional level, it is a horrible disease that affects not only the sufferer, but the people around them, too. 

According to the Cancer Research UK website, 27 people are diagnosed with Leukaemia each day, and one in 63 men, and one in 94 women, will be diagnosed with the disease during their lifetime. Five days before her 25th birthday, Georgia Hutchins passed away from this form of cancer. 

"I didn't know much about Leukaemia when I found out Georgia had it, apart from that it was cancer of the blood. Initially, I thought she'd stand a good chance of fighting it because she was so young and healthy - there was literally nothing wrong with her, yet she was gone within three months of diagnosis," said her friend, Zoey Lewis. 

Zoey & Georgia - Image: Zoey Lewis

Georgia and Zoey met in secondary school; they sat next to each other on their first day of year 7 and hit it off straight away. Throughout school, they were inseparable, doing normal things all girls growing up in Essex do, along with the rest of their friendship group.

"I can't really remember a situation when Georgia wasn't there when we were growing up," Zoey reflects. "Even if she wasn't in my class, she'd be helping me revise and, after leaving school, she was always at the end of the phone. She would always text us at 6am on Christmas Day without fail and we had long conversations on the phone during every Eurovision contest."

As the girls got older, Zoey recalls that Georgia was excellent at organising things and would be the one to set up a dinner, or other plans, for the friendship group: "you could always count on her; she would never let you down or let you be forgotten."

Georgia was diagnosed with Leukaemia in February 2018 and, unfortunately, Zoey was unable to see her at the time as her immune system was quite vulnerable. However, she seemed quite upbeat and positive on the phone, and was really quite blown away by everyone's response. 

Throughout her illness in the months that followed, meeting up obviously became harder. "I bought her lots of little pampering gifts, which ended up staying at my desk at work because she'd be too tired. Also, if I, or anyone else, had a cold or an illness, we were not allowed to visit in case it harmed her immune system."

On 24th May, Georgia sadly succumbed to her illness. However, despite her grief, Zoey is channeling her energy into doing something positive in Georgia's memory. "I couldn't just let her go without doing something for her as a thank you for everything she did for me in the past. At the funeral, I learned apparently Georgia was so blown away by the care she received that she said she'd be poor for the rest of her life because she'd give all her money away to charity! That was the point I silently said to her, "okay, let's do this"; Georgia had cut off her hair when she was told she'd probably lose it and she donated it to charity. Her bravery and selfless attitude made my shave seem really simple. I had nothing to lose apart from my hair, whereas Georgia had everything on the line."

"[When I first shaved my head] everyone said I really suited it! The first week or so, I did get a few stares from people on the street, but I don't notice them anymore. I feel proud to know the reason I don't have any hair, even if the people looking at me don't know!"

On a jovial level, Zoey noticed a few things: "wind is a strange experience. Showers are strange, too. I reach for my hairbrush in the mornings automatically, then laugh. I keep going to brush my fringe out of my eyes and tuck my hair behind my ears, or play with my ponytail, forgetting it's not there."

Currently raising money for the Teenage Cancer Trust, at the time of publishing this piece, Zoey has raised £3,710 on her JustGiving page alone, but has also done other things, like bake sales, that have added to her fundraising total. "I think Georgia would have been happy with [the bake sale]; she was excellent in the kitchen."

Zoey added: "I'm grateful for the time we live in - I would never have been able to raise this much without the use of social media and being able to reach out to the people I didn't know, but Georgia did."

Teenage Cancer Trust, along with Clic Sargent, supported Georgia throughout her illness and Zoey plans to also do fundraising for the latter within the year. This stretch has been her first time fundraising for charity and credits her success to Georgia herself: "if she hadn't been so loving and giving, most people wouldn't have given this a second thought."

To donate to the Teenage Cancer Trust on Zoey's JustGiving page, click here.

Why it's okay to change your career as many times as you want

Images: Kerri Walter (Instagram: @kerriwalterphotography)

So, you've done it all by the book; you've headed to Sixth Form or college, got into a good uni, spent as much of your time interning as you did drinking through funnels, and landed your perfect job upon graduation. Life is good! You're getting paid, you can see a progression path, and your career is turning out to be everything you dreamed of in those 9am (lol) lectures. But what happens when it's not? What happens when you wake up and decide you no longer want to do that career you mapped out for yourself at 16 years old?

This is the position many of us find ourselves in - and not just in our 20s. I have many friends in their 30s, and even 40s, who have lost the passion for what they do and want a change of career, but have MAJOR fears about committing to something new. 

We get ourselves in a panic: will I need to start from the bottom again? Do I need to go back and study? Has everything so far been a waste? Am I gonna be earning less? Will I lose my flat? Would this even be the right decision?! 

Right, let me just say, these thoughts are totally normal. Change brings about uncertainty and your job is a huge part of your life to be unsure about. You spend more time at work than anywhere else, if you're a full-time worker.

Despite following the traditional path myself, earlier this year, I chose to take my writing career in a different direction. Part of the reason I had the confidence to do so is because of my mother. She has had multiple career changes since she was 16 and has excelled in all of them. From telemarketing to midwifery, with primary school teaching in between, she has always landed on her feet. She didn't follow the 'path' and actually got her university degree when I was around 10 years old. Currently a community public health nurse, I asked for her advice...

At what age did you change careers?

My most significant career changes - from teacher to midwife, then to community public health nurse - were at ages 32 and 48. 

What led you to change your career each time?

There were many reasons! Some were pretty life-changing events, such as moving country, the end of a relationship and wanting a university degree, but then there were the more generic reasons, too, like wanting more financial security. With my career choices, in particular, I wanted to be a specialist in a specific health field and, of course, I wanted to make a difference.

What challenges did you face when applying for these different roles?

With having three children, particularly with one under the age of 16, childcare was an issue, as was the financial strain I encountered with returning to academic study. When I moved into midwifery, I had to face the physical and emotional challenges of working in the NHS, which I wasn't used to. Long 12-hour shifts and night shifts are no joke! Finding a work-life balance can also be hard, especially when you're working, as well as studying.

How have your previous careers benefited the ones that followed?

Education and health are the main threads throughout my working life, as well as nursing, parenting and child development. Teaching gave me the basis of child development knowledge, communication, and good interpersonal skills, while midwifery gave me transferable skills in clinical and evidence-based knowledge for maternity - from pregnancy through to birth and the postnatal period for mothers and babies. My public health sector role has evolved from midwifery in that I deal with issues from birth up to five-year-olds, and with their families. These issues range from parenting to child development, as well as public health issues such as obesity, immunisations, safeguarding and social issues, such as domestic violence and mental health. 

What did you want to be when you were younger? 

A nurse - I used to give my brother injections with knitting needles as practice!

What workplace support have you received when changing careers?

When I did my university degree in midwifery, government funding was available. Thankfully, I was also being paid a nurse's salary to work, train and study when I did my postgraduate diploma to become a community public health nurse.

What advice do you have for people who worry about starting over when they are already established in their field? 

Do it! You are never too old to retrain and start a new career. You can use all your experience and knowledge, as they are transferable skills. Follow your dreams, as you can achieve anything you are determined to do. You can reinvent yourselves as much as you wish to, and make a positive difference to yourself and others in the process.

Mamma Mia: Becoming a mother in your 20s

Header & flat lay images: Kerri Walter (@kerriwalterphotography)

My ultimate goal is to be a kick-ass working mother. For me, that is the epitome of an incredible woman; someone who is a doting caregiver (whether this is to her own children, fostering or adopting, anything), excelling in her career, and is a strong, independent female, with or without a partner by her side.

As of last year, the average age UK women enter motherhood is 30, however, I am intrigued by those taking on this mahoosive role a little younger, and how they balance it with everything else their 20s throws at them. For my generation, there is a huge expectation to use your 20s to have the job, the social life, the relationship, the travel, and excel in all these aspects while still getting eight hours sleep a day and enjoying it to the max. It's tough enough as it is, without adding a little dependent human into the mix!

According to the Office of National Statistics (2017), the amount of mothers in employment has gone up by 11 percentage points in the last twenty years. While, this appears to be quite a low percentage increase given the time period, it still signifies progress. Boy, we have far to go, but there is still some hope, eh?    

Thankfully, I am surrounded by some incredible role models. My own mother had me at 27, and she has done a damn incredible job (if I do say so myself). She maneuvered the breakdown of a relationship, battled the minefield of dating with two kids, and has had many different careers, all of which she has excelled at.

Two of my close friends, Rachel and Nirvana, are also incredible mothers. They are nurturing, bring up their sons to be solid in their morals and have respect, but haven’t compromised their own quirky personalities for this new life role. I love watching Nirvana’s son dancing to exactly the same music we danced to with his parents in our student union four years ago, while Rachel's son has such an incredible wit and humour about him that I cannot wait to see the young man he grows into. 

Rachel was 24 when she had her now nine-year-old, while Nirvana was 26 and her son is now three. Here, they have shared some solid words of wisdom regarding motherhood during your 20s. 

On being considered a 'young mum'

"Being a mother is about my relationship with my child, so I just consider myself a 'mum', not a 'young mum'," says Rachel. 

"I knew that having my son wouldn’t hold me back from anything - it just meant that I had another person to take on the ride! I think, as a mum in your 20s, you face the same challenges as any other mum, whatever your age. The only difference is when you are younger, other people like to point it out constantly, which can be very annoying by the time you get to month five! That said, I was definitely fitter and healthier in my 20s and I felt like I had more energy to get up and go back then."

She added: "Although, my pregnancy wasn't planned, I was in love and in a relationship I had been in for years, I had a successful job and I couldn’t wait to be a mummy. I expected my dad to be unhappy, but he was actually really excited. Initially, Mum thought that I was too young and wanted me to do more with my life before settling down but, as the pregnancy went on, that apprehension turned into excitement. 

"I am planning on having another child now that I am in my 30s and I am worried about whether my body can handle the ordeal in terms of the pregnancy and the energy required to care for a newborn baby. I think I have the nine-year-old bit nailed, but can I still handle a newborn?"

Nirvana added: "I got quite mixed reactions during my pregnancy: some people were very pessimistic - which is quite insulting - while others saw the positives. Personally, I think to become pregnant in my 20s made for an easier recovery and I feel like I have more energy to spend with my son. I also quite liked the idea of 'getting it out of the way' as I know women in their 30s who have struggled to conceive naturally."

On your career

"Having a child at 26 meant having to put my career on hold but, that said, it has now fully dawned on me that I would have had to do so no matter what age I decided to have a child," said Nirvana. "And, actually, having a child doesn't necessarily mean putting your career on hold at all; I chose to do so because I wanted to be at home with him and raise him myself. Prior to having my child, I had 10 years of job experience and a degree behind me, so apart from initial doubts, I felt quite prepared.". 

Rachel added: "I don’t think motherhood has had an impact on my career. I’m working in the industry that I want and, while I gave up a management position because I wanted less stress, it more affected my perception on what's important to me rather than what I want to do overall.

"I was lucky to work for a brilliant employer when I got pregnant, so maternity leave and returning to work was seamless. Then I found a brilliant childminder, which meant that I could maintain my hours, be as effective and ambitious as I always was, and have the work-life balance that works for me. The only real change is that there are times where I may want to work late and can't, but it just encourages me to be amazingly organised, so the need to work late is few and far between. I can’t always make after-work events, but I don’t think this has affected my career as I have been blessed with understanding employers who know how hard I work and appreciate that I am an asset. I know this isn’t the experience of all mums - I know I am lucky."

On your social life

Having a child in your 20s doesn't mark the end of your social life - not by a long a shot! It just means that some priorities will change.

"I found out I was pregnant on a Thursday, which was a few days before a planned trip with my uni mates, so my first test came early on! I went to Cambridge for a night out on the Saturday - that just wasn’t the same because I wasn’t drinking; I collapsed at the currency exchange on the Sunday because I chose to sleep in, then missed breakfast, so I could get my errands done - but, of course, missing meals wasn’t good for a pregnant woman; and then, by the Tuesday, I found myself in Amsterdam, them all drunk, and me opting to go to museums instead. I wanted to keep me and my baby safe, well-fed and healthy, and not be around the smoking fumes. After this series of events, I realised that my priorities had changed in an instant. It was no longer just about having fun and getting on it with my mates; it was about being the best mum ever and I was so happy about it - albeit slightly unprepared at the time!" Rachel recalled. 

"I go to the nights out, bottomless brunches and festivals that I can make that work around my child but, as I have gotten older and wiser, I no longer feel bad about saying 'no' to friends and events. Good friends understand that time with my boy is precious. I was the first one in my friendship group to have a baby; everyone was ecstatic when I was pregnant and, even now, my son still gets spoiled by my friends."

You can expand the activities in your social calendar, too. As a group, my friends and I hold an annual Sports Day with our personal trainer friend at the helm. Last year, Rachel's son joined us (and definitely outshone a few of us... namely me).

Rachel added: "I feel like I can relate to my son better because I am still fairly young and, whilst I may not be a spritely as I was in my 20s, you can see the difference in the park and in a school Sports Day Parents Race." 

On travelling

I have actually been on a few holidays with Rachel, and I am about to go to Disneyland Paris with her, her son and another friend of ours. "Travel requires more planning and more consideration about logistics and entertainment. There are certain places that I wouldn’t take my son as a result, but there are so many family-friendly options; family travel can be done in a stress-free way. However, I will say, it is more expensive due to the restrictions of the school holiday and, even when this doesn’t affect the price, there is the fact that you are travelling with extra people."

Nirvana said: "One funny memory from my pregnancy is going into the Guyanese Jungle during my first trimester to see a waterfall. However, I was unable to show - or tell - my partner about the beautiful insect that was hiding a few feet from us because I was puking so hard!

"I am very lucky when travelling with my son now; my child is quick, easy-going and is always up for an adventure!"

Last words of advice

"Don’t think about how old you are," says Rachel. "Think about what you want, what makes you happy and, as long as your child is your priority and you love them as they love you, the opinions of everyone else doesn't matter.

"You can do your best for your child and still do you, too; just think about the life you want, the kind of mum you want to be and then put things into action to make it happen. Work, career, love life, social life, and childcare can work together to give you the balance you want - sometimes you just need to be brave enough to ask for the help, or the flexibility, required to make things happen."

Nirvana concluded: "I actually haven't faced any particular challenges by having a child in my 20s that I wouldn't have faced at any other time. If I could give any advice to mothers - whatever age they are - it would be to enjoy the ride! They really do grow up too quickly!"

In defence of using dating apps to network rather than date

Being a single gal in ol' London town, I am obviously on a dating app. However, it's no secret that I hate dating. The awkward chatter between two complete strangers, both eyeing each other up and questioning each and every interaction - each little giggle, glance, or brush of the arm - within an inch of its life. Ew. It's weird.

So why the F am I on dating apps then, I hear you ask. Well, OBVIOUSLY, the end goal is to meet 'that guy', but in the meantime, I just like the idea of getting a snapshot into some random people's lives that I otherwise would not have met. Is that odd? Are you judging my intentions? WAIT, let me explain...

We're on dating apps because we haven't met that special someone in our daily lives, right? Colleagues, existing friends, friends of friends; they're all very similar or they have something we just do not want in a partner (or there is some unrequited love shit going on, but let's not get into that). On a dating app, there are thousands of people at your fingertips. No pressure, no expectations, no anything. You dip in, and you dip out. You chat, or you don't chat. You literally have no obligations to this person, and they have none to you. You get half an hour/45 minutes/a day's snippet of a total stranger's life and, with it, a totally different perspective. It's like a constant rolling documentary told through words. For someone who is inquisitive and intrigued by human psychology and sociology (read: really f-ing nosy), I relish it.

Obvs, you get the absolute weirdos who are straight in with their intentions (yes mate, OF COURSE I'm going to invite you to my flat within 15 minutes of talking to you  *rolls eyes*), the weirdest chat-up lines ("I once had a guy tell a riddle about a parrot and a bucket that went on for AN AGE," one of my friends told me) and the ones with absolutely ZERO chat, but every so often, you'll actually have some decent conversations.

With most of the guys I've chatted to, we had a really good conversation about homelessness/bread/music/the Kardashians. Some of them changed my perspective on things, others offered a peek into a daily life I know nothing about. Again, with most, I've never spoken to them again. No fizzling out; just the documentary had ended.

A friend told me how she once swiped right on a mannequin: "it was dressed as a British soldier and when I asked how his day was, he replied it was okay; he'd just been staring out the window all day, stuff like that." For the serious dater, this would be a waste of time, but personally, I think that's hilarious.

Of course, there is the question of leading people on. If I continue to chat, does that mean I'm giving false hope to men I have no intention of meeting? Maybe, maybe not. I think it depends on the guy. I won't be outrageously flirty if I know I'm not going to meet them, but then the fact we're chatting on a dating app could seem like a clear indicator. Personally, for me, if they have an issue, there's the block button, there's the unmatch button, and I'm okay with that. 

There are actual 'swipe to make new friends' apps, and Bumble actually has a Bumble BFF section, too, but it really isn't that well-known. At the end of the day, there are less interesting people to chose from on those. Don't get me wrong; I love my friends and my life is filled with an array of stimulating people, but isn't it nice to just chat to a stranger sometimes, without an agenda or forward plan? It's just a bonus if you continue talking to them after day one, if they slide into your WhatsApp, into your calendar, and into your life.

What does community mean to you?

Images: Kerri Walter (Instagram: @kerriwalterphotography)

As the end of the year approaches, we’re encouraged to celebrate the notion of ‘Christmas spirit’. This encompasses many things, one of which is the conscious effort to surround ourselves with people during the festive season, more than at any other time of the year.

For those with fewer, or difficult, family connections, friends and community often take the lead.

“To me, a community consists of people from different paths and backgrounds with various opinions and points of view, banded together by the group that they find themselves in. This can be a place they live that isn't 'home',” says Heather, 31, one of the founders of The Only Way Is Singapore, a community for expat women living in the South Asian country.

What primarily began as a Facebook group has now become a great way to meet like-minded people. Women can ask for recommendations on anything from travel, to where can they get their hair done, as well as looking for a new housemate, selling their items or just asking for someone to go for a drink with.

“It is a lovely community that I am proud of that I know has helped a lot of women whilst living there,” she said.

Of course, we often seek out others for support when we’re out of our comfort zone, but what about a little closer to home? Community means different things to different people, so we asked six people what community means to them:

Paul, 44

“To me, community is about looking out for one another. By creating a community, we are able to protect those who are vulnerable, help those who need assistance and work together to create a better immediate environment for those we share it with. It is building a family that is not based on unconditional love, but instead on unconditional proximity that means we should work together to make our space interesting, enjoyable and simply good. Growing up, my community was based on my school. It was a little school with a maternal headmistress who taught us to respect and help one another. Despite her old fashioned ways and strict manner she taught us that we were all equal and to appreciate everyone's differences. At the moment, I have my neighbourhood which is full of friends and I am part of a local Jewish community. However, I do think that recently people have started to shy away from their local communities and instead live in their global digital communities. People talk less in the park or at the shops, instead they believe a digital connection is as good as a real life one. I'm not so sure.”

Vanessa, 24

“The word community for me is not so much of a tangible place but more so of a group of people who do not have to share similar interests, but wish to create a better, healthier and more socially substantial space to do good for the world and the people around them. Growing up abroad, I was not drawn to a particular community and being mixed raced, it was difficult for me to open up to the very different racial communities that my parents were a part of. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, per say, but after moving back to London I soon realised that there are many more communities existing than I was led to believe.”

Valerie, 77

“It’s about getting on with each other; being friendly, not falling out, or arguing. The community I grew up in was very nice actually. Used to all play together, all the little children. We lived out in the country and you could go walk about and no one had to worry. It was very safe years ago. Not everyone knew each other as it was a bit of a small community, but when I got older, about 10 or 11, I used to go and do two ladies shopping. One used to like me going down the shops because she couldn’t make it - I used to get a penny a time. Another lady grew to like me, she wanted to adopt me, but my mum wouldn’t let that happen! Recently, my neighbours had a family party - the mum and dad’s anniversary - and they put me in the wheelchair and took me to their party. It’s not as good as it used to be when I was younger, things change over the years, but if I was in trouble of course my neighbours now would be here.”

Gerrard, 63

“I moved here from Dublin when I was five or six and when I first came to this country there was every race and we all congregated not far from here. My neighbour taught my mum how to make curry and my mum taught her how to make traditional British food. We also had a Jamaican family living next door and you’d feel like you were in the Caribbean with the music playing. I still know them now - two of them still come in here. Community means people who live in the area, and I think, in England, most parts of the community love to meet in the pub. It’s been going on for hundreds and hundreds of years. This here is a community pub and most of these people are from around this area and they come in here as it's peaceful, they get a good drink and they get well looked after. That’s my job as a licensee: to look after people. I’ve owned the pub for 35 years and I’d say 98% will know of each other. There’s a good sense of community in this pub. The customers look out for everybody. There was a fella walking past who fell over and five or six people picked him up, brought him in, put a blanket over him, found out where he lived, headed to his wife and got him to hospital. They see someone coming up in a wheelchair and two, or three, fellas will run out and help them, if people are ill, they’ll drop each other home. I think people always say people these days aren’t like we were, but I think people are just as good now. Young people are great, they’ve got manners. This is a family pub; that’s what it should be.”

Hilary, 23

“'Community' has the same definition as 'family': a group of people who come together. It’s an environment you can thrive in, and I feel like while it's more about the people, than the area in some respects, every aspect also makes a community, too. I grew up in a few different communities. The first was in southeast London, which was very family-orientated and everyone looked after each other. I moved around a lot and, when I moved to East, it was very different. Being in that house didn’t feel like I was part of a community; no one spoke to each other except for at school. I also lived in a hostel in Orpington and everyone used to have each other’s back. If there was anyone without anything - like milk, or sugar - we’d help each other out. There was also once where I was locked out after taking the bins out - I’d left my phone inside, I had my slippers on, and I forgot to put on the latch - and neighbours knocked our front door down.”

Chris, 28

“Community is safety. Feeling relaxed. It’s yours. My Dad used to say that if he went to a pub that was outside London, that wasn’t his, he would drink with his back to the wall. He was outside of his local place. You want to feel like you’re part of something. Being here, in a family pub, feels like going back in time. This is rare. I don’t see this. I feel like being part of a community feels old fashion; like a 1950s thing. 10 years ago, you used to know everyone. Now, no one knows anyone. Community was a street thing, especially as a kid. Being a kid now isn’t like when we were kids. I think you get more of a sense of a community as a kid and then when you’re old. You lose that sense of community in the mid-stages between being a kid and when you’re old because you’re just trying to work and earn money.”

What does community mean to you? Have a little think this Christmas...